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Reflections on our 8th Year of Homeschooling

girls-in-field-at-dusk

This morning, as I sat next to my almost 6-year old while doing math together on the couch, I tousled his curls which were bathed with streaks of golden morning light, and thought, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

How wild that at one time I vowed I would never homeschool. Now, in our 8th year of home education, I know I’ll never look back and wish I had taken more time for and with our kids. The sweet, slow mornings when we are all at our most fresh and most ready to delve into the day’s endeavours are ours to savour, both now and for a lifetime, as we one day reflect on the years in which together we laid a foundation. A foundation for layered learning where subjects are interwoven and life lessons are uncovered. A foundation for life that revolves around the home and family, rather than home and family fitting into the the world’s expectations. A foundation for lifelong curiosity and growth that celebrates each of our unique gifts, strengths, and passions. I never thought this would be our path, and yet, it’s been a journey that has taught me so much and has given me more than I could ever have wished for as a parent in pursuit of all that is good, beautiful, and true.

Will and I both enjoyed our public school experiences and assumed we’d adopt the same route for our kids. Plus, I didn’t consider myself the patient, teacher type. I also knew I’d want my ‘me’ time back once the kids were school age. As an introvert, I coveted my alone time, and as a parent, it has been the most difficult thing for me relinquish. While kids were in school, I presumed that I would have the time to pursue a career, organize our home, and maintain optimal health and fitness. But those goals were superseded by something more important to me – time with loved ones.

At a certain point in our parenting journey, we realized that the school system here in California would limit time with our families who lived thousands of miles away. As it wasn’t as feasible to take our kids out of school for a couple weeks at a time like my parents did when I was growing up, we began to consider the option of homeschool. We didn’t want to be limited to travel during peak season and pay for flights during Christmas or have our parents miss out on visits while the kids were in school.

As we began to investigate the world of homeschooling, other ‘pros’ cropped up, like slow mornings, no pick-up and drop-off lines, learning opportunities that fit each child’s personal needs and styles, no homework, ample opportunities to explore and adventure, and homeschool communities that fostered rich learning environments.

Of course there are cons – well actually, the only one I can think of is that I don’t get as much time alone as I’d prefer. But one day the kids will all be gone, the house will be quiet, and I’m sure I’ll miss the noise, clutter, and beauty of their presence more than I can imagine.

The pros, however, continue to increase with each passing year. Here are just a few that I’ve experienced over the years:

  • Plenty of time with siblings. Of all the social interactions I care about, the relationships between my kids is the one I care about almost more than any other. The connections my kids are fostering with their siblings while young has been one of the best benefits to homeschooling. Had Lauren been in Kindergarten the year Travis was born, she would have missed out on much of his time as a baby and our bonding as a family. Instead, she was able to help nurture and care for him every day, right from the get-go. Natalie and Travis, who are incredibly similar in personality and therefore sometimes clash, have ample time to work on their conflict resolution. All of them experience endless opportunities to lean on and support one another as they grow – something I pray continues for the rest of their lives. That’s not to say they wouldn’t lean on each other while growing up or as adults if they went to school – my sister and I did and do, as do plenty of other siblings who have gone through traditional schooling. I’m just thankful that homeschooling allows me to cultivate more time together as a family unit and nurture their sibling relationships in a slow, intentional fashion.
  • I get to choose curriculum and topics that suit each of my kids and our family. Currently Travis is very into volcanoes, so that’s his focus in science at the moment. Natalie wants to be a farmer, so I’m always looking for content that nurtures this desire. Lauren is passionate about cooking, and gets to use her math, science, and creativity in the kitchen whenever she wants. I have found a math curriculum that is so beautiful and rich it makes ME excited about math! I’m able to weave art, history, and geography together. Blend science and latin in beautiful ways. Learn how to make English grammar feel more fun. Read literature and poetry that comes alive. Listen to and play music that fills our home with magic. The feast is endless, and I get to lead the way as Master of Ceremonies.
  • There is ample time for free play, socialization, and boredom. The kids get multiple hours every day to play, read, create, and do their own thing. During those hours, especially now that they’re older, I get to relax, work, tidy, work out, etc. I believe that plenty of unsupervised free play is a key component to helping kids form creative, confident decision-making skills, and that too much scheduled programming diminishes these opportunities. Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to go against the cultural norms and slow down and provide our kids with large swaths of time that aren’t structured or standardized.
  • Homeschooling has enriched our social circle greatly, and we could spend way more time socializing than we currently do – but we wouldn’t get our schoolwork done if we took up every opportunity to socialize! The field trips, day time play dates, homeschool community days, and visits with friends and family who come to stay have been a huge blessing to our family, and I’m so thankful that homeschooling enables us to prioritize relationships — I want my kids to learn that work will always be there, but people come first. Again, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in any other context, I’m just speaking from my personal experience, knowing that our schedules would be more jam-packed with with more relationships on the back burner than is my preference.
  • I get to protect my kids’ innocence and childhood. I’ll be honest, their schooled counterparts are much more conscious of the world’s cares and concerns than they are, and as elementary-aged kids, I’m totally fine with that. There is PLENTY of time for them to become more aware of complex and grown-up issues. They only get to be kids for so long, and I want to protect that precious time as best I can. In grade 6, Lauren is already exposed to the issues facing the girls in her youth group who attend school, such as self-harm, drugs, and alcohol. Homeschooling doesn’t mean my kids have to live in a bubble, in fact, I work hard to ensure they don’t, but it does offer them a shelter from the intensity of the world when they need it.
  • We experience the benefits of a one-room school, where older kids help younger ones, and younger students learn just by being present with older kids. This plays out in our homeschool community as well, with the older kids helping out parents by coming alongside the younger ones. Girls and boys of various ages intermingle much more easily than I experienced when I was growing up in school, and I take great delight in watching all of these dynamics play out.

And of course there is the time with family. Recently I gave the kids a week off from school so we could all be as present as possible when my Grandma, great uncle, and great aunt came to visit. They got to explore San Francisco and Carmel-by-the-Sea, spend time baking in the kitchen with my great aunt, and enjoyed hearing stories from the past. It was a much-needed pause in the middle of our fall and exactly what I hoped for when we embarked upon our homeschooling journey.

Because of the flexibility homeschooling affords, our kids have had the opportunity to spend extended time in Mississippi hunting, visiting historic monuments, and growing in their knowledge of family history. We’ve traveled to Manitoba in the fall and stayed in a friend’s rustic cabin on the river for 3 weeks, vacationed to Arizona in winter with cousins and grandparents, road-tripped around Vancouver Island in the spring, and enjoyed visits with friends and family whenever they’ve come our way, taking off a day here or a week there, whenever it suits us. Will doesn’t get that many days off per year, but as the kids have gotten older and easier to travel with, I’ve been able to take them to see family on my own, giving them opportunities they wouldn’t have had if they had been in school. The freedom to be with family is priceless, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do school from wherever we choose.

I realize that homeschooling is not for everyone, and that being able to stay home with the kids and homeschool is a privilege. I will also say that if homeschooling is something you long for, there are ways to make it happen. We decided that if it wasn’t feasible for me to stay at home with the kids here in California, we would move to wherever that would be possible. I know a single mom who is working (often outside of the home) and homeschooling! Her daughter is now spending one day a week with us doing her schoolwork and I love that we can support them in this endeavour. If you’re sensing that homeschool might be something you’d like to explore, I’d encourage you to seek out a homeschool community in your area and pay them a visit, find a Wild + Free conference to attend, check out a curriculum that could enrich your students’ educational experience and perhaps fill in some gaps (The Good and the Beautiful is one of my favourites), bring home rich read-alouds from the library (Sarah Mackenzie has the best booklists for all ages). You could even hire a coach to help you navigate the homeschool space – I’d recommend reaching out to Leah Boden. Also, her book Modern Miss Mason is a fabulous way to dip your toes into learning and exploring alongside your children, whether you homeschool or not.

There are a myriad of ways to educate and enrich your children’s lives through learning – homeschooling is just the one that has served us best thus far. And while we plan to continue on the homeschooling path, I’ve learned to never say never. So no guarantees about what the future will hold for our kids and their education, but I’m sure it will be an adventure no matter what! Here’s to another year of slow and steady learning ahead.

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Finding Margin on Mondays

Mondays might be my most favourite day of the week. We usually have no plans for Mondays other than to delve into a fresh week of school and begin making our way through weekly chores and projects. As an introvert, I’m typically relieved to have a social break after the weekend. I also find that my energy for getting things accomplished is at its zenith on Mondays, so I like to get meal prep and bigger chores done early in the week. I don’t know about any other moms out there, but I tend to feel pretty wiped out by Friday afternoon, and am rarely the finest version of myself at that point in the week!

On this bright, blue-sky Monday morning, I was rather pleased about the day’s progress as I turned on my gas stove’s third burner and began boiling water for that night’s dinner. Veggies for mine and Will’s lunches were sautéing in one pan while bone broth was simmering in the stock pot. Travis was playing outside, burning off some energy, before I sat down with him for his schoolwork. Lauren and Natalie were already making their way through math and piano practice. There was a hum to our hive that felt purposeful and positive.

As I basked in the glow of a morning going strong, about to lower almost five  pounds of chopped Yukon gold potatoes into a pot of boiling water, a sharp CRACK jolted me out of my reverie, and a simultaneous spray of shattered glass from along the back of the stovetop was sent flying into the potato water, across the range, and onto the kitchen floor. My efficient morning had been eradicated in an instant.

I sighed deeply as I switched off all three burners on the now crystalline-covered stovetop, shooed curious kids away from the blast site, and began sweeping up the debris. In spite of feeling utterly deflated, I was grateful that no glass had found its way into my eyes or skin. My middle child assessed the situation with the pragmatic reminder that, “At least we don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Quite right,” I agreed. If today had been a busy day, I would have had far less capacity to handle the hiccup with grace. I might have let my irritation with this fiasco affect my interactions with the kids in a negative manner. Instead, as I slowly began to clean up, I realized that this interruption was essentially another reminder to slow down and plan for more days like this one: days with enough margin for plans to go awry, schedules to shift, and for me to pivot.

So, how do I go about scheduling my days with maximum margin? It comes down to a simple question I can ask myself as often as I need to:

“What ACTUALLY NEEDS to get done?”

While I’m becoming better at assessing how much I can realistically get done in a specific period of time, I still have to regularly reassess my list of to-dos and weed out the things that can truly just wait.

When I consider what needs to get done versus what I would like to accomplish, it’s much easier to give myself permission to slow down and carve out space for life to ebb and flow.

In the long run, my responses to how I handle the unexpected hiccups and hardships will matter far more than what I accomplished on a day-to-day basis. How I treat others (and that’s not to say I’ve always done that well – far from it!) is always going to outlast whatever I achieve. When I pare down all my reasons for wanting to slow down more, the ones that matter most are these: to love God and love others as best I can.

Looking for more slow living inspiration? Check out the blog posts below.

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The Ultimate ‘Slow Down’ Checklist

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After several jam-packed days this past week, I could tell my body wanted to revolt, and that if I didn’t listen, I would get sick and be far more useless than if I slowed down and took a day or two to truly rest my brain and body. I realize I talk about slowing down all the time, so much so you think I’d be just stellar at it, but the truth is that I’m naturally prone to overdoing it.

How do I know when my brain and my body are telling me to hit the brakes? My digestive system doesn’t work as well as it should, I wake up thinking about all the things I have to do, my body is sore from holding tension, I stumble over my words and struggle to make strong decisions, and I’m not near as gracious with my family as I should be. Even though I knew in advance that the last four days were going to be filled with good things – birthday celebrations, photo shoots, family visits and calls – I also knew that going that long without sufficient down time would take a toll.

I feel like in my 20’s I could survive crazy schedules on sheer energy. Then in my 30’s, a decade filled with child-bearing and raising littles, I was riding the highs and lows just trying to get by. I naively thought that when I arrived at my 40’s, I could hit the ground running and bounce back after my early-motherhood years. Wow, was I mistaken. Instead I can sense the need to be gentle with myself, to work smarter not harder, to slow down more than I thought would be necessary, and to give my body and brain ample time and space to be restored.

So here I am, sometimes learning the hard way, but relieved that instead of pushing myself into overdrive and paying for it later, I am willing to call a time out and give myself a pass to rest. I think it’s a good example to my kids as well, for them to see me either overtly declaring time for extra rest or subtly carving out rest throughout our week. I want them to listen to their intuition and their bodies and remember that often our best work comes from a place of rest. But they won’t have the chance to learn to intuit this for themselves if a) I don’t lead by example, and b) I pack their schedules so full they don’t have the margin they need to practice intuiting.

Here then is My Ultimate Slow Down Checklist that serves as a reminder to slow down and rest:

  • Am I getting 8 hours of sleep each night?
  • Do I have time to sit and read my Bible, journal, and just BE for a few minutes each morning?
  • Am I getting regular workouts & time outdoors in my schedule?
  • Is my digestive system revolting or is it working smoothly? Do I have stomach issues? This is usually the result of a combination of stress and not eating properly.
  • Do I sit down to eat 3 healthy meals per day? Am I sitting down to eat with my family or am I eating on the go?
  • Do I have time for spontaneous calls/visits from/with friends or family without needing to multitask?
  • Am I cranky with my family? Do I have time for them or am I/are we on the go from morning until night?
  • Is decision-making harder than normal/than it should be?
  • Do I have time/energy to plan out my next day the night before?
  • Am I creating anything for sheer pleasure during my days?

If my answer is ‘no’ to 3 or more of these things, I know that I’m not running optimally. If my answer is ‘no’ to 5 or more of these questions, I know I’m risking my physical and mental health. It’s no wonder that I struggled to stay healthy and balanced during the years with babies and littles when, to be honest, checking off 5 of these would be a stretch!

You might be scanning the above list and thinking there’s no way you could make 7/10 of these items a regular part of your days. That’s okay. That’s because the checks and balances you need might look different. Mine are what work for me, but you might want to adapt the above list to suit you and your lifestyle better. Or you might really resonate with the list above and want to reflect on it and decide if you need some time to slow down and recover. Either way, no matter who we are, we all need to develop our intuition and take care of ourselves as best we can. We can’t run at a breakneck pace forever. Our bodies will eventually revolt, our relationships will suffer, and we won’t be able to live to the fullest the abundant life we’ve been given.

And with that, I’m taking a day to rest and just BE present with God and my family. I plan to stay in my pjs for longer than normal, give my kids a free pass on their school, spend as much of the day outdoors as possible, get off-screen, and nourish myself in all the ways I can. I’m no use to anyone if I run myself into the ground and get sick, so while part of me protests while looking at my calendar/to-do lists, I know intuitively that I will sacrifice so much more later than if I slow down now. I hope you too can check in with yourself this week and intuit your needs with confidence and compassion.

Want to join me for the ultimate opportunity to slow down? Come with me on a weeklong walk through the Cotswolds, where you can be immersed in the beauty and tranquility of the English countryside and experience restoration and inspiration along the way. Click HERE for more details.

 

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3 Steps to a Less Stressful School Year

Over the years I have developed what I like to call slow living strategies that have helped me become more in sync with my natural rhythms, cope with the busy pace of life we experience living here in the San Francisco Bay area, and nurture the relationships that matter most. Of course there are seasons when I struggle to maintain the habits I’ve honed, and I have to admit that the start to this school year has been one of them.

While I’m becoming more consistent with working out and taking care of my health, my administrative rhythms have slipped recently, and I’m still in catch-up mode. I’m convinced that trying to maintain the perfect balance is not unlike chasing a unicorn – a mythical quest at best. That being said, having strategies that help me quickly recover when I am struggling in a specific area, are key to moving forward during a busy season. Last week I was especially grateful for one of my favourite strategies that I was able to implement following a pretty sizeable slip-up!

I began my descent into mistake-territory first thing on a Friday morning. While I’d held off on checking my email during the initial hour or so after waking, I happened to pop into my inbox just before breakfast and noticed that tickets for my girls’ upcoming theatre production had just gone on sale.

Last winter I wasn’t super quick on the draw with my wallet and as a result, missed out on optimal seats for my eldest daughter’s first show. Determined not to let that happen again, I sat down at the breakfast table, and in an attempt to ignore the morning hubub whirling around me, worked on booking tickets for multiple shows and the multiple family members and friends flying in for the occasion.

Within about 10 minutes the tickets were booked and I was more than a little self-satisfied that I’d accomplished this big ‘to-do’ item before breakfast. Later that morning while texting with a friend who knew the specific theatre well, I asked about the front-row seats I had purchased. While she confirmed that they were indeed eye-level with the stage, she also informed me that our seats wouldn’t allow my 5-year old to see the back of the stage. Well, shoot. So much for early-morning efficiency I thought.

Even though I was pretty sure the theatre wouldn’t let me change my seats, I decided to give the box office a call and ask. A pleasant voice answered and Carla (Karla?) searched for my order. Confused by my confident assertion that I’d purchased front-row seats for 4 shows, she double-checked the tickets and then explained that I’d made a not uncommon (but incredibly cringe-worthy) mistake. “You’ve flipped the seating chart around and booked the back row,” Carla/Karla explained. In an instant I went from hopeful I could shift our seats to a few rows back to horrified that my entire family would be seated in the nosebleed section. I began praying to God and begging to Carla/Karla simultaneously. Hearing the panic in my voice, Carla/Karla put me on hold in order to speak with her supervisor. Several nerve-wracking minutes of pacing and more prayer passed until I heard Carla/Karla exclaim, “Good news! We can make an exception and exchange your tickets over the phone right now. There will be a $10 change fee if that’s okay?” Okay? OKAY?! Never have I been so deliriously happy to pay a change fee. TAKE MY MONEY LADY!

After I had confirmed the new (and improved, not front row) tickets had been delivered safely to my inbox, I hung up the phone and just about cried with delight and overwhelm. In spite of my mistake, God and the people at our local theatre box office were gracious with me and saved me from handing out binoculars to our non-plussed parents so they would be able to actually see our girls on stage.

The next thing I needed to do was pull myself together on a deeper level, because clearly I was a hot mess.  With so much home/family/extracurricular/school admin and messaging that comes with the beginning of the school year, I felt like I was drowning in to-dos.  As a result, I was obviously not making decisions with clarity and forethought. I had also ignored my self-imposed rule that I don’t book tickets for anything with kids around. I had a major mixup with flight rebooking ten years ago that lead me to implement that rule, and I’ve stuck by it for a solid decade – until last week of course. My lapse in judgement that day reminded me to SLOW DOWN. For the rest of the day I held off on any other decisions or responses that could easily wait to be determined or sent until the next morning.

I also knew that I needed to utilize a strategy I’ve been relying on for YEARS when my brain feels like it’s overloaded and cannot contain additional information. I’d failed to take advantage of this strategy over the past couple weeks but knew it was time to revisit this favourite of mine.  The strategy is known as a brain dump, and while I’ve hated the term for as long as I’ve used it, the poorly-named process is incredibly helpful.

Brain dumps are one of my all-time favourite tools to help me de-stress, reduce decision fatigue, prioritize what’s important, and slow down. Mine is a 3 part process that I’m going to share below.

  1. Pull out a notebook and jot down EVERY SINGLE THING that I need to do or consider that isn’t already scheduled. This list typically winds up being a massive download of everything from grocery items to purchase, errands to run, correspondence to catch up on, paperwork to do, appointments to schedule, gifts to pick out, special events to plan, work projects to tackle, stuff to remind Will about, you name it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the list, I just write until my brain feels relieved and there’s nothing left for me to remember. I usually have to scroll through texts, inboxes, and other platform messaging to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s best if I try to do this when I’m going to be interrupted as little as possible.

2. Immediately following, or at another time that day, I make categories in my notebook so everything on the initial list has a place to go. Then I sort the list and check off each one as I enter it under the appropriate category. Here are a list of my typical categories:

    • Home (mostly menial tasks)
    • Yard/Garden
    • Errands
    • To Purchase
    • Groceries
    • School
    • Extracurriculars (sub-headings for piano, theatre, etc.)
    • Work
    • Correspondence
    • Computer (projects or to-do’s that require me to sit down at the computer)
    • Will (things I need for Will to do)

3. The next thing I do is plug as many items from these lists as possible into my calendar. I learned this strategy from my current business coach Heather Boersma, and it has really helped me to actually tackle the stuff on my lists. Not everything gets an assigned date, but a large portion of my lists do. This prevents me from having to stare at my lists and make decisions about when to do what. It helps to decrease decision fatigue and shorten my lists.

After my theatre ticket mishap, you can bet I did a massive brain dump, (gotta find a new term for that) then categorized, sorted and scheduled my to-dos. My mental load is lighter and my stress has lessened significantly. Even though I know this fall is going to feel more busy than I prefer, I at least have a strategy that helps me manage the chaos with some clarity!

If you want to give my 3-part brain dump a whirl, I highly recommend doing this before the start of each week, prior to planning a trip, leading up to the holiday season, or (my favourite) upon takeoff when flying. I love kicking off a vacation with everything in my brain offloaded so I can enjoy my time away with as much of my mental space cleared for connection, creativity, and rest.

And if you have another better term for brain dump, please, I beg you to share!

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3 Ways to Develop Your Intuition

When it comes to integrating slow living strategies into our lives, I believe that tapping into our intuition is one of the most important processes we can adopt. Becoming attuned to our intuition can enable us to course-correct, gain clarity, make better decisions, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future. Sometimes we intuit for our own benefit, but at times we are also required to intuit on behalf of, or in cooperation with, family members, staff, ministry partners, a business or program, students, clients etc.

Tapping into my intuition has helped me discern my body’s needs and my brain’s logic, differentiate between desires that are selfish or selfless, and recall the wisdom of God’s Word or those who have spoken into my life from a place of wisdom and experience.

Becoming attuned to my intuition has required the following: stillness, silence, and solitude. I cannot intuit well amidst the clamour and chaos of busyness, noise, and the needs and expectations of others. So how do I find stillness, silence, and solitude when the days are full and the nights feel short? Below are 3 methods that have helped me to tap into my intuition amidst the roller coaster of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business.

  • Time in nature, specifically a walk or wild swim, allows me to breathe deeply, reset my nervous system, observe lessons from nature, escape the noise, get off my device, and hear from God through his creation. This is one of my favourite ways to gain clarity and tap into my intuition.
  • Early mornings before my family needs me or the rest of the world has a chance to fill my brain via emails, texts, and social media are essential.  Spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditation on Scripture as a way of both communing with God and hearing His voice provides me with peace and the opportunity to intuit my next steps or a greater vision.
  • The pursuit of a creative outlet no matter how insignificant it might feel or how poorly it is attempted, increases my ability to hone my intuition. Whether it’s painting or photography, piano or cooking, setting a beautiful table or pruning a rose bush, any opportunity I have to do something creative helps me become more acquainted with sensing nuance. It’s a training ground for developing my intuitive sense. The more I engage with a creative outlet, the more I become attuned to my intuition, which I can then utilize throughout all aspects of life.

As I become more intuitive, I become better able to understand my purpose, use the gifts God has given me, and endure difficult seasons. Tapping into my intuition has also helped me decide on and hone a number of slow living strategies that have made my life feel less chaotic, more in sync with natural rhythms, and more aligned with my desire to lead a peace-filled life.

For the story on how I lost my connection to my intuition during the pandemic and gained it back during an unexpected season, click HERE.

If you’d like to follow along on my exploration of slow living strategies, you can subscribe to my newsletter for weekly inspiration, travel tips, offers, and opportunities to increase your rest, creativity, and natural rhythms. Join me on the journey HERE.

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Digital Habits to Reduce Decision Fatigue

Are you up to your eyeballs in decisions to make these days? School, schedule, work, extra-curriculars, ministry, travel, family affairs, housing, health…the list goes on doesn’t it?

Chances are, many of you are navigating decisions that have to be made not just in terms of multiple categories, but for multiple people in your lives. All of this can lead to decision fatigue, because, let’s face it, we only have so much capacity for decision making each day.

Recently I started to write a blog post about decision fatigue as a wrap-up for my summer series, when I realized that over the years I’d written 3 blog posts on the topic. Typically these posts and emails experience higher readership than almost every other topic, except for when I write about the Cotswolds.

Why does decision fatigue garner such interest? To be honest, I don’t have a great answer, except that at no other time in history have we been inundated with so many queries requiring a response, decision, purchase, plans. I believe many of us are becoming weary as a result.

From emails to activity-specific apps, texts to social media platforms, we are at everyone’s beck and call, available to make decisions or respond to a need at any time of the day or night. Even up until very recently, the only way we could be summoned or interrupted instantly was via a landline.

We have access to endless search options for just about everything from travel itineraries to grocery items. Clothes shopping, hiring a plumber, or registering kids for activities were far more limited and simplified processes prior to our digital era.

Today’s digital constructs offer up information, requests, and options in tireless fashion, ever eroding our rest. As I witness my rest being upset by the endless barrage of information and communication, I’m learning to set better boundaries with regards to how I handle the overload and reduce the decision fatigue that it invites.

Below are 3 digital/device habits I’ve begun implementing over the past year in order to reduce decision fatigue:

  1. My phone (and Will’s) stay in the kitchen for night. I don’t need the temptation of the internet, texts, photos, etc., if I wake in the night and am struggling to sleep. It’s not natural or timeless, and as my desire grows to implement more slow living strategies, those habits that don’t have a history are less likely to make the cut when it comes to my daily rhythms.
  2. I (mostly) avoid checking my email, texts, or other message-related apps first thing in the morning. The same goes for online shopping or searching. My plans, my prayers, and my practices (working out, journaling, making tea etc.) need to come before the rest of the world is allowed to make their requests known or their products and services offered. I’m also trying to do less checking of my device in the evening and make ‘business hours’ a thing. If it’s not social/relationship-oriented, it probably doesn’t need to take up space in my head between dinner and breakfast.
  3. With bigger decisions or requests I’m trying to spend more time thinking and praying about them instead of making decisions sooner than I ought. The decision or answer might wind up being the same in the end, but the habit of not responding, scheduling, or purchasing so soon is better for my nervous system and leaves me more calm and confident in my timing, responses, and choices.

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Ultimately, I feel like I’m reclaiming my brain through these slower, more intentional processes. Through boundaries that limit my access and exposure to the digital world and my devices, I’m giving myself the gift of rest. This helps to reduce decision fatigue, not because the decisions go away (they don’t), but because I’m able to make better decisions with more clarity when I address them at more appropriate times.

Is decision fatigue something you struggle with? I would love to know what aspect of this issue is a weak spot for you, as well as what has helped you manage decision fatigue. Feel free to write me at: hello@bringinginspiraitonhome.com or message me on Instagram @bringinginspirationhome

If you’re up for letting me share in a future newsletter, just let me know and I’m happy to either make your contribution anonymous or provide a first name. Click HERE to subscribe to my weekly newsletter for more slow living strategies, travel tips, and inspiration to help you tap into your creativity and experience deeper rest.

In the meantime, here are a few blog posts I’ve written over the past years that have helped me to reduce decision fatigue. I hope you enjoy them and pass along anything you find helpful to those who find themselves wanting the same thing: how to minimize the overwhelm and enjoy more abundant rest.

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Designing a Schedule that Revolves Around Rest

It might seem counterintuitive to dive into the topic of rest at the beginning of a busy season, but I believe there’s no better time for a refresher on rest than on the cusp of what could be chaos if not managed with intent and care.

For many years, I put rest on the back burner. It was what I ‘earned’ after putting in enough effort. I viewed rest as indulgent when life was clipping along at a steady pace and necessary when burnout hit. But only more recently have I begun to view rest with more reverence. Perhaps this is as a result of entering my 40’s and realizing with renewed perspective that time and health are both precious and precarious. I’ve become so much more aware of how rest is key to sustaining and stewarding the health, relationships, and time I’ve been granted. Rest is where I need to begin, not where I wind up.

Maybe you’re curious as to what that means and how that looks in real life. That’s something I’ve been attempting to define and navigate over the past couple of years. One thing I keep returning to is this intuitive sense that I need to put rest at the forefront of my scheduling, which has required a mindset shift.

When considering the season ahead, I now consider how much rest I/our family will require and plan our schedule accordingly, instead of fitting rest in amidst the busy days and weeks. I have begun thinking of my weekend as a time of rest that fuels my creative work of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business throughout the week, rather than aiming for the weekend in order to recover. Each day’s schedule begins with planning times of rest throughout my day before I insert all the to-do’s. I’m realizing that time spent ‘being’ is just as (if not more) critical to success as my time spent ‘doing’.

If flipping the script of earning our rest is intriguing to you, here are a few things you can do to integrate a more ‘slow living’ approach with rest as the core rather than the afterthought in your schedule.

  • Plan for one weekend a month and one day a week to be open-ended, leaving margin in your calendar. Just seeing or knowing that there is space for rest can reduce anxiety regarding exhaustion.
  • Begin each day with something that inspires and fuels you. Journaling, working out, sitting quietly with a Bible or book and cup of tea. Plan for a short break in the afternoon that will fuel the second half of your day – perhaps a walk after lunch, a catnap, or a podcast while puttering in the garden or folding laundry.
  • Consider which activities or stimuli in your day/week/month leave you feeling exhausted. Maybe it’s driving in rush hour, a cluttered home, or getting kids out the door for school/practice/activities. Tackling these things following a period of restorative rest leaves me feeling much less drained and far more engaged than when I just fly from one busy/noisy environment to the next.
  • Before saying ‘yes’ to a new commitment, decide what you’ll extract from your schedule so that you’re not sacrificing your margin.
  • Read up on the value of rest. Here are a couple books that have inspired me over the last while: “Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less” by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang and “The Sleep Revolution” by Arianna Huffington.

Be sure to Pin the image above to a Slow Living Strategies board for quick and easy reference.

Drawn to the concept of slowing down, experiencing deeper rest, and tapping into your creativity? Subscribe to my newsletter for Slow Living Strategies that help inspire a more creative, abundant life both at home and on the road.

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5 Ways to Increase Rest & Decrease Stress

As we prepare to launch into another school year, I’ve been thinking about what I what want this year to look like. It includes the following:

  • Increased time in nature
  • Less screen time & device dependence
  • A schedule that is oriented around restorative rest
  • More automation in order to reduce decision fatigue
  • Improved sleep quality

I’ve recently addressed the first two issues in my regular newsletter, which you can read here (nature edition) and here (screen time edition) but am diving into the other topics on my blog, as this is where I intend to spend more time exploring the concepts of rest and creativity that fuel and restore me whether I’m at home or on the road.

I am passionate about going out into the world (whether that be to far-flung locales or to just-around-the-corner antique stores and markets) and bringing inspiration back home. The cycle of going out into the world and being inspired, then weaving that inspiration into my rhythms and routines helps to ignite my creativity, which in turn enables me to thrive in various seasons and spaces.

If this appeals to you, I invite you to explore this space and stay tuned. You can also subscribe to my weekly newsletter which will keep you updated with my latest offerings (retreats, travel tips, slow rhythm strategies, and favourite finds) and links to fresh blog posts and photo collections.

I’ll be sharing very shortly about my thoughts regarding a schedule oriented around rest and how I intend to apply that to this coming year. One thing that I’ve been considering lately is how I seem to experience the best mental rest once my body has had a chance to slow down. My husband Will, however, told me that he functions best with the opposite approach.

Which works best for you? Slowing your body down first and letting your mental burdens lighten as a result, or letting go of your mental stressors in order to let your body rest? Feel free to share your personal preferences in the comments below or send me an email at: hello@bringinginspirationhome.com  I’d love to chat further about why some of us slow down better one way and others require the opposite strategy!

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for blog posts, inspiration, travel tips, & more!

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How Rest is Helping Me Lose Weight in a Healthy Way

**I’m sharing a bit about my struggle with weight the past few years and how I’m now losing some weight in a healthy way. If this is a triggering subject for you, feel free to pass over it and return if and when the time is right.**

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I have finally been able to lose weight for the first time in over two years and the reason may surprise you. Or perhaps if you’ve been reading my reflections for any length of time, the reason won’t surprise you at all.

The catalyst for my (small but steady) drop in weight has been rest. And I don’t mean a vacation, sleeping in, naps, or anything that we typically constitute as restful. In fact, the last 2.5 months have included travel with kids (fun but not restful!), hosting family, a couple rounds of colds, and a children’s musical that has required plenty of parent participation. I wouldn’t necessarily consider this winter to have been a restful one, though there have certainly been some truly memorable experiences.

In spite of the circumstances being somewhat more intense than normal, I’ve experienced more, rather than less, rest. How? Let me count the ways!

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” – Augustine of Hippo

 

1.  I’ve resigned myself to not let guilt, obligation, or fear stop me from resting when I can tell my brain and body need it. Instead of second-guessing or dwelling on the thoughts that prevent me from resting, I have put rest at the top of my to-do list knowing that the rest would enable me to be more productive and meet my responsibilities with more energy and a better attitude. I’ve discovered that tackling anything from a place of rest has nothing but benefits.

2. I have differentiated between two types of rest: the rest required to start a thing and the rest needed to recover from a thing. I feel like I’ve often rested after exertion, but not as often have I rested as the first step. Now I take time to rest before and after my efforts and find that I’m experiencing a well-rounded rhythm as a result. I’m also ‘vegging out’ less and resting with more intention. Less Netflix or show binging and more reading, walks, painting, journaling and time spent with God in prayer and in His Word.

3. I have become more attuned to my intuition in order to better discern when I require rest, or even when my family requires rest, and what exactly that rest should look like. Does it mean crawling into bed to read during the kids’ afternoon quiet time in order to ward off a cold, or does it look like a brisk morning walk around the park in the rain while Will does breakfast with the kids? Do I need to sit in the sunshine and listen to a business book or do I need to wake up early and sit with my journal by the fire? Do we need to stay home from an event and get some much-needed time to connect as a family or should Will and I make plans for a date and get some time without the kids? It’s so much easier to make these decisions with intention when rested and in tune with my intuition. I’ve been making decisions with more confidence and less guilt, more inspiration and less obligation. This alone provides much mental rest!

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”  – John Lubbock

While experiencing more spiritual, physical, and mental rest, something else has transpired. My stress levels have gone down. And I know that if my stress has lessened, my cortisol levels aren’t as high. High cortisol prevents weight loss, so no matter how much I work out and how clean I eat, if my stress levels are up, my weight won’t come down. Elevated cortisol levels also lead to illness and disease. Our bodies cannot maintain high levels of intensity over a long period of time and stay healthy.

Once my I reduced my stress levels, I realized that I was making healthier food choices because I wasn’t eating to fill an emotional void. I started exercising more in order to lower stress rather than to lose weight, and I wound up losing weight anyway. Finding ways to keep my stress to a minimum has had an impact on more than just my weight. I feel so much healthier as a whole and can see how my desire to seek rest has been impacting my family. The pursuit of rest in all its healthiest, truest forms has become more ingrained into the rhythms of my days and weeks over the past few months, and I am so excited to be on the slow train!

If you’d like to read some of my more recent reflections on rest, here are some of my most recent newsletters:

To read more from past issues, click HERE to subscribe to my weekly newsletter and I’ll make sure you have access to more of my recent editions!

If you are longing for an extended time of rest that would enable you to tap into your intuition more fully, why not join me on my Women’s Walking Retreat in the Cotswolds. During our week of walks through the English countryside, you’ll have the time and space to let decision fatigue fade, the natural world speak to your senses, your spiritual life deepen, your imagination flourish, and your intuition reawaken. If you’re feeling conflicted, burdened, overwhelmed, or in need of a re-set, my Women’s Walking Retreat has been designed with you in mind.

As we walk, we’ll stop in ancient churches along the way where you’ll have time to pray or journal, and where we’ll sing hymns and connect. I’ll be teaching on creativity and rest throughout the retreat so that you can take the restoration and inspiration you experience and integrate it into your rhythms back home. My co-leader is a trained therapist and will be providing support if you’d like to process with her. This retreat is designed to offer a time of restoration and inspiration that will serve you for years to come. Please email me at hello@bringinginspirationhome.com if you are interested! You can also click HERE for details.

I hope to see you there!  — Jaime

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The Value of Silence in a World of Noise

One of my favourite times of the year is the beginning of a new one. I love a blank canvas, a fresh notebook, or an empty calendar, because each of them have the same thing in common: untapped potential. The thing with limitless options, however, is that I tend to want to say book them all  faster than you can say RSVP.

In the past this has lead to some problems for me, such as overcommitment, overwhelm, and overstimulation. Clearly me + ‘over’ don’t function well together. Instead I’ve discovered that a slow and steady mentality, while maybe not quite so exciting, is a much healthier mindset for me to live with on a day to day basis. More tortoise, less hare, to put it concisely.

“Instead I’ve discovered that a slow and steady mentality is a much healthier mindset for me to live with on a day to day basis.” 

So when January bursts onto the scene filled with fresh prospects and exciting opportunities, it takes everything in me not to say ‘yes’ to all of them without a second thought. Which is why I desperately need to embrace the scarcity and silence of the winter season and apply it to my daily experience. Looking for, and lingering in, silence allows me the time to consider my values and my reasons for saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to various opportunities.

Since silence is a gift that helps me make decisions, it’s something I need to reconsider at the beginning of every year, and probably more often than that. Silence helps me tap into my intuition, pray about possibilities, seek a greater purpose for my life, and question my motives. When I do these things, I tend to make choices that I’m at peace with, even if the decisions don’t thrill me.

“I require silence in order to weigh, sort, sift, and meditate on all these things, and put solid decision-making at risk if I relinquish too much time to the noise that vies for my attention.”  

In a world full of noise, I have to deliberately carve out space for silence. To choose to drive without music. Do the dishes without a podcast playing. Edit photos without a movie on in the background. Work out without a business training or tutorial to listen to or watch. Go to bed without an audio book lulling me to sleep. I love learning, growing, and understanding, so much of what I choose to ingest, media-wise, is beneficial. But too much time listening to other voices and perspectives, no matter how relevant or informative they are, can easily drown out what I need to hear most: Biblical teaching, the Spirit’s guidance, the wisdom of those whom I trust, and my own thoughts and desires. I require silence in order to weigh, sort, sift, and meditate on all these things, and put solid decision-making at risk if I relinquish too much time to the noise that vies for my attention.

I also need silence in order to allow my mind to wander, grant my heart time to feel, and let my imagination create. Too often scrolling, playlists, and the next new thing on Netflix tempt me to trade time in silence for ‘inspiration’. But for inspiration to truly take root, to have an impact beyond an ‘aha’ moment, silence is a requirement. It serves as the blank page for our creativity, and I believe that without it, we would cease to produce original thought or truly inspirational work of our own.

Last winter I had the chance to spend many hours hunting alone in a tree stand. I did listen to an audio book here and there, but I knew that if I really wanted to get a decent shot, I’d have to surrender all of my senses to the opportunity at hand. I needed to be as present and as undistracted as possible. To sit in the quiet of nature, and to practice not only silence, but observation, solitude, and stillness. The discipline paid off — I culled two deer which filled my family’s freezer for a year.

This winter, I may not have the opportunity to be enveloped by the all-encompassing practice of hunting, but I can take what I gleaned from the experience and apply it to my every day suburban lifestyle.

I can take 5 minutes in a parking lot to sit quietly before returning home from grocery shopping. I can lie in bed before I arise and think about what I’m most grateful for, BEFORE I’ve checked my inbox or social media feeds. I can sit by my kids’ bedsides once they’re asleep and devote those quiet moments to prayer. To listening. To breathing. Deeply and intentionally. I can be still and know. In the quiet moments of my day, I can listen to the still, small voice that nudges me towards my best yes.

“But for inspiration to truly take root, to have an impact beyond an ‘aha’ moment, silence is a requirement. It serves as the blank page for our creativity, and I believe that without it, we would cease to produce original thought or truly inspirational work of our own.”  

It is difficult as a mom to find moments for silence. To find moments of stillness, solitude, AND silence is virtually impossible unless I specifically carve out a time to either leave my house or have my family leave it! This trifecta often feels unattainable. But to find a moment or two for just one of these practices is usually doable if I intentionally look for them. And I need to remember that before I flood my calendar, every ‘yes’ requires some silence.

If you are looking for an extended time in which to practice silence, my Women’s Walking Retreat is a fantastic opportunity. One of the things I notice when I walk long distances is that my prayer life moves from being one of talking to God, to one of listening to Him. Being in nature and becoming attuned to the creation around oneself enhances this act of listening in silence. If you have decisions to make for the future, healing from the past to pursue, or just the desire to be present in the moment, my Women’s Walking Retreat is an experience that will enable you to embrace all three. But I promise it’s not a silent retreat! There are loads of opportunities to connect and bond with the other women on the trip. Click HERE to learn more.

Looking to tap into your intuition more? Click HERE and HERE for two posts on how I’ve pursued the practice of honing my intuition.

Interested in more slow living strategies to increase your rest, enhance your creativity, and bring inspiration home? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for slow living inspiration, travel tips, and opportunities to rest, create, and explore the world with me in person. Join me on the journey HERE.

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