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Author: Jaime Fenwick

The Ultimate ‘Slow Down’ Checklist

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After several jam-packed days this past week, I could tell my body wanted to revolt, and that if I didn’t listen, I would get sick and be far more useless than if I slowed down and took a day or two to truly rest my brain and body. I realize I talk about slowing down all the time, so much so you think I’d be just stellar at it, but the truth is that I’m naturally prone to overdoing it.

How do I know when my brain and my body are telling me to hit the brakes? My digestive system doesn’t work as well as it should, I wake up thinking about all the things I have to do, my body is sore from holding tension, I stumble over my words and struggle to make strong decisions, and I’m not near as gracious with my family as I should be. Even though I knew in advance that the last four days were going to be filled with good things – birthday celebrations, photo shoots, family visits and calls – I also knew that going that long without sufficient down time would take a toll.

I feel like in my 20’s I could survive crazy schedules on sheer energy. Then in my 30’s, a decade filled with child-bearing and raising littles, I was riding the highs and lows just trying to get by. I naively thought that when I arrived at my 40’s, I could hit the ground running and bounce back after my early-motherhood years. Wow, was I mistaken. Instead I can sense the need to be gentle with myself, to work smarter not harder, to slow down more than I thought would be necessary, and to give my body and brain ample time and space to be restored.

So here I am, sometimes learning the hard way, but relieved that instead of pushing myself into overdrive and paying for it later, I am willing to call a time out and give myself a pass to rest. I think it’s a good example to my kids as well, for them to see me either overtly declaring time for extra rest or subtly carving out rest throughout our week. I want them to listen to their intuition and their bodies and remember that often our best work comes from a place of rest. But they won’t have the chance to learn to intuit this for themselves if a) I don’t lead by example, and b) I pack their schedules so full they don’t have the margin they need to practice intuiting.

Here then is My Ultimate Slow Down Checklist that serves as a reminder to slow down and rest:

  • Am I getting 8 hours of sleep each night?
  • Do I have time to sit and read my Bible, journal, and just BE for a few minutes each morning?
  • Am I getting regular workouts & time outdoors in my schedule?
  • Is my digestive system revolting or is it working smoothly? Do I have stomach issues? This is usually the result of a combination of stress and not eating properly.
  • Do I sit down to eat 3 healthy meals per day? Am I sitting down to eat with my family or am I eating on the go?
  • Do I have time for spontaneous calls/visits from/with friends or family without needing to multitask?
  • Am I cranky with my family? Do I have time for them or am I/are we on the go from morning until night?
  • Is decision-making harder than normal/than it should be?
  • Do I have time/energy to plan out my next day the night before?
  • Am I creating anything for sheer pleasure during my days?

If my answer is ‘no’ to 3 or more of these things, I know that I’m not running optimally. If my answer is ‘no’ to 5 or more of these questions, I know I’m risking my physical and mental health. It’s no wonder that I struggled to stay healthy and balanced during the years with babies and littles when, to be honest, checking off 5 of these would be a stretch!

You might be scanning the above list and thinking there’s no way you could make 7/10 of these items a regular part of your days. That’s okay. That’s because the checks and balances you need might look different. Mine are what work for me, but you might want to adapt the above list to suit you and your lifestyle better. Or you might really resonate with the list above and want to reflect on it and decide if you need some time to slow down and recover. Either way, no matter who we are, we all need to develop our intuition and take care of ourselves as best we can. We can’t run at a breakneck pace forever. Our bodies will eventually revolt, our relationships will suffer, and we won’t be able to live to the fullest the abundant life we’ve been given.

And with that, I’m taking a day to rest and just BE present with God and my family. I plan to stay in my pjs for longer than normal, give my kids a free pass on their school, spend as much of the day outdoors as possible, get off-screen, and nourish myself in all the ways I can. I’m no use to anyone if I run myself into the ground and get sick, so while part of me protests while looking at my calendar/to-do lists, I know intuitively that I will sacrifice so much more later than if I slow down now. I hope you too can check in with yourself this week and intuit your needs with confidence and compassion.

Want to join me for the ultimate opportunity to slow down? Come with me on a weeklong walk through the Cotswolds, where you can be immersed in the beauty and tranquility of the English countryside and experience restoration and inspiration along the way. Click HERE for more details.

 

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Selling My Kids on Sustainable Shopping

When I was in high school and college I did a lot of my clothes shopping at thrift stores. I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, was never put off by the dinginess of a less than sparkling shopping ambience, and felt especially thankful for how shopping second-hand could stretch my funds. The concept of ‘more with less’ is a tightly woven theme threaded throughout my Mennonite heritage, and I’ve never felt a stitch of shame with regards to purchasing used goods. In fact, this is a value I want to pass on to my kids, especially as we integrate more slow living strategies into our lifestyle.

Recently my daughters (on the verge of 11 and 9) expressed an interest in going back-to-school shopping for some new clothes. This is actually never something we’ve done, as we’ve mostly just ‘shopped’ from our friends’ hand-me-downs. If you are looking to implement the slow living rhythm of sustainable shopping, trading products or services in exchange for quality hand-me-downs is a great place to start.

For almost a decade I’ve been trading family photo shoots in exchange for my friend’s daughter’s gently used clothing and it’s a swap I’ve been incredibly grateful for. Not only has it saved me money, but time as well, which I would have had to spend in order to shop. Seasonal apparel dropped off at my door in exchange for family portraits – yes please!

But I digress. My daughters had heard that some of their friends had gone back-to-school clothes shopping with their moms and asked if we could go too. As I have begun to purchasing my own clothing with more awareness and intention, I spent some time researching sustainable clothing brands and local shops that sold ethically-made apparel for kids/pre-teens. The results stressed me out. Most of the options were either online only, crazy expensive, or not as ethical as they claimed to be.

Since my journey to cleaner food and beauty products never started out with a full-on overhaul, I decided that we would start simply in the sustainable clothes shopping arena as well. I took each of them on separate shopping dates to a large, local thrift store and out for lunch after. While there were no change rooms, each quickly got over the awkwardness of trying clothes on over their own in the aisles! For the record my daughters both wore spaghetti strap sun dresses with bike shorts underneath in order to try on clothes. This combo  worked perfectly for trying everything on except jumpsuits!

During our shopping excursion, I not only had the opportunity to teach my girls how to pick out clothes that suited them, but look for clothes that would fit/work for the following season. I also took them through the women’s section and pointed out things I was looking for: natural fabrics like wool sweaters and jackets, linen blouses and dresses, tweed blazers etc. I explained that clothing made from natural fibres holds up better over time and is better for our health,  compared to apparel made from synthetic fabrics.

One of the biggest lessons the girls were able to learn, was how much bang for your buck you get with second-hand shopping. After getting into the car with my eldest daughter, I looked up the brand and style of jeggings she had found 3 pairs of. Brand new, they were approximately $40 each. We purchased hers for $7.50 a piece. Her eyes were as big as saucers as she did the mental math. The glee on her face as she delighted in the savings let me know she was hooked on second-hand!

Of course shopping second-hand is just one of the ways we can move towards a slower, more sustainable shopping process.  Both of my girls are interested in sewing, and while that is definitely not a skill of mine, it’s something I want to foster for them. They already enjoy taking apart damaged articles of clothing and stitching accessories for dolls. Heaven knows they’ll save me money if they can eventually sew some of their own wardrobe à la Ma Ingalls.

I also want to find a couple of ethical clothing brands that produce underwear, camisoles, and bras using more natural materials. And then there are our hand-me-down hauls which are honestly the best ever. We actually have a neighbour who supplies us with most of my son’s clothes as well. What a blessing! And yes, we will still continue to shop for the occasional pieces at Target, Old Navy, or on Amazon like we have over the past decade. The process towards a cleaner, less toxic, sustainable lifestyle is usually not an overnight overhaul but a slow and steady shift-for me at least. I’m more likely to maintain slower rhythms if I know that I can always make an exception for the easy option here and there.

One other thing to note. Over the years, I often used birthday/Christmas money to purchase the odd outfit from a Canadian maker called Nest & Nurture. Her work is stunning and sustainable and my kids wore their outfits for multiple seasons. I’ve now packed away these pieces that will pass down to their children beautifully because of the timeless styles and quality craftsmanship. I have LOVED the beauty and timelessness of these special items and would love to find something similar for these older girl/pre-teen years. If you have any recommendations, I’m all ears! I love supporting small, family-run businesses and want to encourage my kids to do the same. I’d much rather spend a little more and have less in terms of quantity, knowing I’m supporting a small business and family’s livelihood. Feel free to leave any suggestions for sustainable shopping in the comments below.

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3 Steps to a Less Stressful School Year

Over the years I have developed what I like to call slow living strategies that have helped me become more in sync with my natural rhythms, cope with the busy pace of life we experience living here in the San Francisco Bay area, and nurture the relationships that matter most. Of course there are seasons when I struggle to maintain the habits I’ve honed, and I have to admit that the start to this school year has been one of them.

While I’m becoming more consistent with working out and taking care of my health, my administrative rhythms have slipped recently, and I’m still in catch-up mode. I’m convinced that trying to maintain the perfect balance is not unlike chasing a unicorn – a mythical quest at best. That being said, having strategies that help me quickly recover when I am struggling in a specific area, are key to moving forward during a busy season. Last week I was especially grateful for one of my favourite strategies that I was able to implement following a pretty sizeable slip-up!

I began my descent into mistake-territory first thing on a Friday morning. While I’d held off on checking my email during the initial hour or so after waking, I happened to pop into my inbox just before breakfast and noticed that tickets for my girls’ upcoming theatre production had just gone on sale.

Last winter I wasn’t super quick on the draw with my wallet and as a result, missed out on optimal seats for my eldest daughter’s first show. Determined not to let that happen again, I sat down at the breakfast table, and in an attempt to ignore the morning hubub whirling around me, worked on booking tickets for multiple shows and the multiple family members and friends flying in for the occasion.

Within about 10 minutes the tickets were booked and I was more than a little self-satisfied that I’d accomplished this big ‘to-do’ item before breakfast. Later that morning while texting with a friend who knew the specific theatre well, I asked about the front-row seats I had purchased. While she confirmed that they were indeed eye-level with the stage, she also informed me that our seats wouldn’t allow my 5-year old to see the back of the stage. Well, shoot. So much for early-morning efficiency I thought.

Even though I was pretty sure the theatre wouldn’t let me change my seats, I decided to give the box office a call and ask. A pleasant voice answered and Carla (Karla?) searched for my order. Confused by my confident assertion that I’d purchased front-row seats for 4 shows, she double-checked the tickets and then explained that I’d made a not uncommon (but incredibly cringe-worthy) mistake. “You’ve flipped the seating chart around and booked the back row,” Carla/Karla explained. In an instant I went from hopeful I could shift our seats to a few rows back to horrified that my entire family would be seated in the nosebleed section. I began praying to God and begging to Carla/Karla simultaneously. Hearing the panic in my voice, Carla/Karla put me on hold in order to speak with her supervisor. Several nerve-wracking minutes of pacing and more prayer passed until I heard Carla/Karla exclaim, “Good news! We can make an exception and exchange your tickets over the phone right now. There will be a $10 change fee if that’s okay?” Okay? OKAY?! Never have I been so deliriously happy to pay a change fee. TAKE MY MONEY LADY!

After I had confirmed the new (and improved, not front row) tickets had been delivered safely to my inbox, I hung up the phone and just about cried with delight and overwhelm. In spite of my mistake, God and the people at our local theatre box office were gracious with me and saved me from handing out binoculars to our non-plussed parents so they would be able to actually see our girls on stage.

The next thing I needed to do was pull myself together on a deeper level, because clearly I was a hot mess.  With so much home/family/extracurricular/school admin and messaging that comes with the beginning of the school year, I felt like I was drowning in to-dos.  As a result, I was obviously not making decisions with clarity and forethought. I had also ignored my self-imposed rule that I don’t book tickets for anything with kids around. I had a major mixup with flight rebooking ten years ago that lead me to implement that rule, and I’ve stuck by it for a solid decade – until last week of course. My lapse in judgement that day reminded me to SLOW DOWN. For the rest of the day I held off on any other decisions or responses that could easily wait to be determined or sent until the next morning.

I also knew that I needed to utilize a strategy I’ve been relying on for YEARS when my brain feels like it’s overloaded and cannot contain additional information. I’d failed to take advantage of this strategy over the past couple weeks but knew it was time to revisit this favourite of mine.  The strategy is known as a brain dump, and while I’ve hated the term for as long as I’ve used it, the poorly-named process is incredibly helpful.

Brain dumps are one of my all-time favourite tools to help me de-stress, reduce decision fatigue, prioritize what’s important, and slow down. Mine is a 3 part process that I’m going to share below.

  1. Pull out a notebook and jot down EVERY SINGLE THING that I need to do or consider that isn’t already scheduled. This list typically winds up being a massive download of everything from grocery items to purchase, errands to run, correspondence to catch up on, paperwork to do, appointments to schedule, gifts to pick out, special events to plan, work projects to tackle, stuff to remind Will about, you name it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the list, I just write until my brain feels relieved and there’s nothing left for me to remember. I usually have to scroll through texts, inboxes, and other platform messaging to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s best if I try to do this when I’m going to be interrupted as little as possible.

2. Immediately following, or at another time that day, I make categories in my notebook so everything on the initial list has a place to go. Then I sort the list and check off each one as I enter it under the appropriate category. Here are a list of my typical categories:

    • Home (mostly menial tasks)
    • Yard/Garden
    • Errands
    • To Purchase
    • Groceries
    • School
    • Extracurriculars (sub-headings for piano, theatre, etc.)
    • Work
    • Correspondence
    • Computer (projects or to-do’s that require me to sit down at the computer)
    • Will (things I need for Will to do)

3. The next thing I do is plug as many items from these lists as possible into my calendar. I learned this strategy from my current business coach Heather Boersma, and it has really helped me to actually tackle the stuff on my lists. Not everything gets an assigned date, but a large portion of my lists do. This prevents me from having to stare at my lists and make decisions about when to do what. It helps to decrease decision fatigue and shorten my lists.

After my theatre ticket mishap, you can bet I did a massive brain dump, (gotta find a new term for that) then categorized, sorted and scheduled my to-dos. My mental load is lighter and my stress has lessened significantly. Even though I know this fall is going to feel more busy than I prefer, I at least have a strategy that helps me manage the chaos with some clarity!

If you want to give my 3-part brain dump a whirl, I highly recommend doing this before the start of each week, prior to planning a trip, leading up to the holiday season, or (my favourite) upon takeoff when flying. I love kicking off a vacation with everything in my brain offloaded so I can enjoy my time away with as much of my mental space cleared for connection, creativity, and rest.

And if you have another better term for brain dump, please, I beg you to share!

For more slow living strategies, subscribe to my weekly newsletter HERE.

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3 Ways to Develop Your Intuition

When it comes to integrating slow living strategies into our lives, I believe that tapping into our intuition is one of the most important processes we can adopt. Becoming attuned to our intuition can enable us to course-correct, gain clarity, make better decisions, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future. Sometimes we intuit for our own benefit, but at times we are also required to intuit on behalf of, or in cooperation with, family members, staff, ministry partners, a business or program, students, clients etc.

Tapping into my intuition has helped me discern my body’s needs and my brain’s logic, differentiate between desires that are selfish or selfless, and recall the wisdom of God’s Word or those who have spoken into my life from a place of wisdom and experience.

Becoming attuned to my intuition has required the following: stillness, silence, and solitude. I cannot intuit well amidst the clamour and chaos of busyness, noise, and the needs and expectations of others. So how do I find stillness, silence, and solitude when the days are full and the nights feel short? Below are 3 methods that have helped me to tap into my intuition amidst the roller coaster of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business.

  • Time in nature, specifically a walk or wild swim, allows me to breathe deeply, reset my nervous system, observe lessons from nature, escape the noise, get off my device, and hear from God through his creation. This is one of my favourite ways to gain clarity and tap into my intuition.
  • Early mornings before my family needs me or the rest of the world has a chance to fill my brain via emails, texts, and social media are essential.  Spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditation on Scripture as a way of both communing with God and hearing His voice provides me with peace and the opportunity to intuit my next steps or a greater vision.
  • The pursuit of a creative outlet no matter how insignificant it might feel or how poorly it is attempted, increases my ability to hone my intuition. Whether it’s painting or photography, piano or cooking, setting a beautiful table or pruning a rose bush, any opportunity I have to do something creative helps me become more acquainted with sensing nuance. It’s a training ground for developing my intuitive sense. The more I engage with a creative outlet, the more I become attuned to my intuition, which I can then utilize throughout all aspects of life.

As I become more intuitive, I become better able to understand my purpose, use the gifts God has given me, and endure difficult seasons. Tapping into my intuition has also helped me decide on and hone a number of slow living strategies that have made my life feel less chaotic, more in sync with natural rhythms, and more aligned with my desire to lead a peace-filled life.

For the story on how I lost my connection to my intuition during the pandemic and gained it back during an unexpected season, click HERE.

If you’d like to follow along on my exploration of slow living strategies, you can subscribe to my newsletter for weekly inspiration, travel tips, offers, and opportunities to increase your rest, creativity, and natural rhythms. Join me on the journey HERE.

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Digital Habits to Reduce Decision Fatigue

Are you up to your eyeballs in decisions to make these days? School, schedule, work, extra-curriculars, ministry, travel, family affairs, housing, health…the list goes on doesn’t it?

Chances are, many of you are navigating decisions that have to be made not just in terms of multiple categories, but for multiple people in your lives. All of this can lead to decision fatigue, because, let’s face it, we only have so much capacity for decision making each day.

Recently I started to write a blog post about decision fatigue as a wrap-up for my summer series, when I realized that over the years I’d written 3 blog posts on the topic. Typically these posts and emails experience higher readership than almost every other topic, except for when I write about the Cotswolds.

Why does decision fatigue garner such interest? To be honest, I don’t have a great answer, except that at no other time in history have we been inundated with so many queries requiring a response, decision, purchase, plans. I believe many of us are becoming weary as a result.

From emails to activity-specific apps, texts to social media platforms, we are at everyone’s beck and call, available to make decisions or respond to a need at any time of the day or night. Even up until very recently, the only way we could be summoned or interrupted instantly was via a landline.

We have access to endless search options for just about everything from travel itineraries to grocery items. Clothes shopping, hiring a plumber, or registering kids for activities were far more limited and simplified processes prior to our digital era.

Today’s digital constructs offer up information, requests, and options in tireless fashion, ever eroding our rest. As I witness my rest being upset by the endless barrage of information and communication, I’m learning to set better boundaries with regards to how I handle the overload and reduce the decision fatigue that it invites.

Below are 3 digital/device habits I’ve begun implementing over the past year in order to reduce decision fatigue:

  1. My phone (and Will’s) stay in the kitchen for night. I don’t need the temptation of the internet, texts, photos, etc., if I wake in the night and am struggling to sleep. It’s not natural or timeless, and as my desire grows to implement more slow living strategies, those habits that don’t have a history are less likely to make the cut when it comes to my daily rhythms.
  2. I (mostly) avoid checking my email, texts, or other message-related apps first thing in the morning. The same goes for online shopping or searching. My plans, my prayers, and my practices (working out, journaling, making tea etc.) need to come before the rest of the world is allowed to make their requests known or their products and services offered. I’m also trying to do less checking of my device in the evening and make ‘business hours’ a thing. If it’s not social/relationship-oriented, it probably doesn’t need to take up space in my head between dinner and breakfast.
  3. With bigger decisions or requests I’m trying to spend more time thinking and praying about them instead of making decisions sooner than I ought. The decision or answer might wind up being the same in the end, but the habit of not responding, scheduling, or purchasing so soon is better for my nervous system and leaves me more calm and confident in my timing, responses, and choices.

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Ultimately, I feel like I’m reclaiming my brain through these slower, more intentional processes. Through boundaries that limit my access and exposure to the digital world and my devices, I’m giving myself the gift of rest. This helps to reduce decision fatigue, not because the decisions go away (they don’t), but because I’m able to make better decisions with more clarity when I address them at more appropriate times.

Is decision fatigue something you struggle with? I would love to know what aspect of this issue is a weak spot for you, as well as what has helped you manage decision fatigue. Feel free to write me at: hello@bringinginspiraitonhome.com or message me on Instagram @bringinginspirationhome

If you’re up for letting me share in a future newsletter, just let me know and I’m happy to either make your contribution anonymous or provide a first name. Click HERE to subscribe to my weekly newsletter for more slow living strategies, travel tips, and inspiration to help you tap into your creativity and experience deeper rest.

In the meantime, here are a few blog posts I’ve written over the past years that have helped me to reduce decision fatigue. I hope you enjoy them and pass along anything you find helpful to those who find themselves wanting the same thing: how to minimize the overwhelm and enjoy more abundant rest.

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Designing a Schedule that Revolves Around Rest

It might seem counterintuitive to dive into the topic of rest at the beginning of a busy season, but I believe there’s no better time for a refresher on rest than on the cusp of what could be chaos if not managed with intent and care.

For many years, I put rest on the back burner. It was what I ‘earned’ after putting in enough effort. I viewed rest as indulgent when life was clipping along at a steady pace and necessary when burnout hit. But only more recently have I begun to view rest with more reverence. Perhaps this is as a result of entering my 40’s and realizing with renewed perspective that time and health are both precious and precarious. I’ve become so much more aware of how rest is key to sustaining and stewarding the health, relationships, and time I’ve been granted. Rest is where I need to begin, not where I wind up.

Maybe you’re curious as to what that means and how that looks in real life. That’s something I’ve been attempting to define and navigate over the past couple of years. One thing I keep returning to is this intuitive sense that I need to put rest at the forefront of my scheduling, which has required a mindset shift.

When considering the season ahead, I now consider how much rest I/our family will require and plan our schedule accordingly, instead of fitting rest in amidst the busy days and weeks. I have begun thinking of my weekend as a time of rest that fuels my creative work of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business throughout the week, rather than aiming for the weekend in order to recover. Each day’s schedule begins with planning times of rest throughout my day before I insert all the to-do’s. I’m realizing that time spent ‘being’ is just as (if not more) critical to success as my time spent ‘doing’.

If flipping the script of earning our rest is intriguing to you, here are a few things you can do to integrate a more ‘slow living’ approach with rest as the core rather than the afterthought in your schedule.

  • Plan for one weekend a month and one day a week to be open-ended, leaving margin in your calendar. Just seeing or knowing that there is space for rest can reduce anxiety regarding exhaustion.
  • Begin each day with something that inspires and fuels you. Journaling, working out, sitting quietly with a Bible or book and cup of tea. Plan for a short break in the afternoon that will fuel the second half of your day – perhaps a walk after lunch, a catnap, or a podcast while puttering in the garden or folding laundry.
  • Consider which activities or stimuli in your day/week/month leave you feeling exhausted. Maybe it’s driving in rush hour, a cluttered home, or getting kids out the door for school/practice/activities. Tackling these things following a period of restorative rest leaves me feeling much less drained and far more engaged than when I just fly from one busy/noisy environment to the next.
  • Before saying ‘yes’ to a new commitment, decide what you’ll extract from your schedule so that you’re not sacrificing your margin.
  • Read up on the value of rest. Here are a couple books that have inspired me over the last while: “Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less” by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang and “The Sleep Revolution” by Arianna Huffington.

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Drawn to the concept of slowing down, experiencing deeper rest, and tapping into your creativity? Subscribe to my newsletter for Slow Living Strategies that help inspire a more creative, abundant life both at home and on the road.

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5 Ways to Increase Rest & Decrease Stress

As we prepare to launch into another school year, I’ve been thinking about what I what want this year to look like. It includes the following:

  • Increased time in nature
  • Less screen time & device dependence
  • A schedule that is oriented around restorative rest
  • More automation in order to reduce decision fatigue
  • Improved sleep quality

I’ve recently addressed the first two issues in my regular newsletter, which you can read here (nature edition) and here (screen time edition) but am diving into the other topics on my blog, as this is where I intend to spend more time exploring the concepts of rest and creativity that fuel and restore me whether I’m at home or on the road.

I am passionate about going out into the world (whether that be to far-flung locales or to just-around-the-corner antique stores and markets) and bringing inspiration back home. The cycle of going out into the world and being inspired, then weaving that inspiration into my rhythms and routines helps to ignite my creativity, which in turn enables me to thrive in various seasons and spaces.

If this appeals to you, I invite you to explore this space and stay tuned. You can also subscribe to my weekly newsletter which will keep you updated with my latest offerings (retreats, travel tips, slow rhythm strategies, and favourite finds) and links to fresh blog posts and photo collections.

I’ll be sharing very shortly about my thoughts regarding a schedule oriented around rest and how I intend to apply that to this coming year. One thing that I’ve been considering lately is how I seem to experience the best mental rest once my body has had a chance to slow down. My husband Will, however, told me that he functions best with the opposite approach.

Which works best for you? Slowing your body down first and letting your mental burdens lighten as a result, or letting go of your mental stressors in order to let your body rest? Feel free to share your personal preferences in the comments below or send me an email at: hello@bringinginspirationhome.com  I’d love to chat further about why some of us slow down better one way and others require the opposite strategy!

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How Rest is Helping Me Lose Weight in a Healthy Way

**I’m sharing a bit about my struggle with weight the past few years and how I’m now losing some weight in a healthy way. If this is a triggering subject for you, feel free to pass over it and return if and when the time is right.**

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I have finally been able to lose weight for the first time in over two years and the reason may surprise you. Or perhaps if you’ve been reading my reflections for any length of time, the reason won’t surprise you at all.

The catalyst for my (small but steady) drop in weight has been rest. And I don’t mean a vacation, sleeping in, naps, or anything that we typically constitute as restful. In fact, the last 2.5 months have included travel with kids (fun but not restful!), hosting family, a couple rounds of colds, and a children’s musical that has required plenty of parent participation. I wouldn’t necessarily consider this winter to have been a restful one, though there have certainly been some truly memorable experiences.

In spite of the circumstances being somewhat more intense than normal, I’ve experienced more, rather than less, rest. How? Let me count the ways!

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” – Augustine of Hippo

 

1.  I’ve resigned myself to not let guilt, obligation, or fear stop me from resting when I can tell my brain and body need it. Instead of second-guessing or dwelling on the thoughts that prevent me from resting, I have put rest at the top of my to-do list knowing that the rest would enable me to be more productive and meet my responsibilities with more energy and a better attitude. I’ve discovered that tackling anything from a place of rest has nothing but benefits.

2. I have differentiated between two types of rest: the rest required to start a thing and the rest needed to recover from a thing. I feel like I’ve often rested after exertion, but not as often have I rested as the first step. Now I take time to rest before and after my efforts and find that I’m experiencing a well-rounded rhythm as a result. I’m also ‘vegging out’ less and resting with more intention. Less Netflix or show binging and more reading, walks, painting, journaling and time spent with God in prayer and in His Word.

3. I have become more attuned to my intuition in order to better discern when I require rest, or even when my family requires rest, and what exactly that rest should look like. Does it mean crawling into bed to read during the kids’ afternoon quiet time in order to ward off a cold, or does it look like a brisk morning walk around the park in the rain while Will does breakfast with the kids? Do I need to sit in the sunshine and listen to a business book or do I need to wake up early and sit with my journal by the fire? Do we need to stay home from an event and get some much-needed time to connect as a family or should Will and I make plans for a date and get some time without the kids? It’s so much easier to make these decisions with intention when rested and in tune with my intuition. I’ve been making decisions with more confidence and less guilt, more inspiration and less obligation. This alone provides much mental rest!

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”  – John Lubbock

While experiencing more spiritual, physical, and mental rest, something else has transpired. My stress levels have gone down. And I know that if my stress has lessened, my cortisol levels aren’t as high. High cortisol prevents weight loss, so no matter how much I work out and how clean I eat, if my stress levels are up, my weight won’t come down. Elevated cortisol levels also lead to illness and disease. Our bodies cannot maintain high levels of intensity over a long period of time and stay healthy.

Once my I reduced my stress levels, I realized that I was making healthier food choices because I wasn’t eating to fill an emotional void. I started exercising more in order to lower stress rather than to lose weight, and I wound up losing weight anyway. Finding ways to keep my stress to a minimum has had an impact on more than just my weight. I feel so much healthier as a whole and can see how my desire to seek rest has been impacting my family. The pursuit of rest in all its healthiest, truest forms has become more ingrained into the rhythms of my days and weeks over the past few months, and I am so excited to be on the slow train!

If you’d like to read some of my more recent reflections on rest, here are some of my most recent newsletters:

To read more from past issues, click HERE to subscribe to my weekly newsletter and I’ll make sure you have access to more of my recent editions!

If you are longing for an extended time of rest that would enable you to tap into your intuition more fully, why not join me on my Women’s Walking Retreat in the Cotswolds. During our week of walks through the English countryside, you’ll have the time and space to let decision fatigue fade, the natural world speak to your senses, your spiritual life deepen, your imagination flourish, and your intuition reawaken. If you’re feeling conflicted, burdened, overwhelmed, or in need of a re-set, my Women’s Walking Retreat has been designed with you in mind.

As we walk, we’ll stop in ancient churches along the way where you’ll have time to pray or journal, and where we’ll sing hymns and connect. I’ll be teaching on creativity and rest throughout the retreat so that you can take the restoration and inspiration you experience and integrate it into your rhythms back home. My co-leader is a trained therapist and will be providing support if you’d like to process with her. This retreat is designed to offer a time of restoration and inspiration that will serve you for years to come. Please email me at hello@bringinginspirationhome.com if you are interested! You can also click HERE for details.

I hope to see you there!  — Jaime

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The Value of Nurturing Our Intuition

This morning while taking an early walk around my neighbourhood park, I happened to see two fleshy, pink earthworms wriggling along the gravel path. The observation reminded me of a moment when, in 2017 on my first day ever of walking through the Cotswolds, I stopped to watch an earthworm wend its way up out of the rich, dark soil. That moment remains with me,  because in that pause I remember thinking incredulously to myself, “When on earth do you have time in your normal life to slow down enough to watch an earthworm?” Since then, I’ve made it a habit to slow down and observe nature’s most inconspicuous creatures, as I often find there is wisdom to be gained from studying their activity.

While the rain clouds threatened to burst forth above me, I peered curiously down at the pair of worms. It was then that I noticed I was surrounded by at least a dozen earthworms, slowly inching away from the higher and drier gravel path towards the lower-lying mud and grass just a few feet away. They all had the same instinctive goal of making their way towards an environment that was best suited to them and their needs. I use the word ‘instinctive’ because I’m not sure that ‘intuitive’ would be the correct description for an earthworm’s process of determining its needs. Do worms intuit or do they just follow their natural-born instincts? I’m not sure, and quite frankly, I think that’s where my curiosity ends when it comes to worms. I am, however, very much intrigued by the intuition we humans possess, and am inspired by these creatures’ drive and ambition to do what’s necessary in order to make their minuscule lives count for something.

“We were given intuition for a reason, but if it’s not nurtured, it cannot serve the purpose it was meant to fulfill” 

For the duration of my walk, I continued to ponder the value and cultivation of intuition. A couple years ago, as the fog of the pandemic began to lift, I realized that during that strange and stressful season, my intuition had taken a nosedive. My ability to make decisions with clarity and assuredness was no longer what it had once been. It wasn’t until some months later when I had the opportunity to spend 7 weeks hunting on my in-laws land in Mississippi, that my intuition received a reboot. Towards the end of our extended visit I realized there had been 3 things that helped me tap back into my intuition: silence, stillness, and solitude.

Hunting requires these three elements in spades and I was fortunate enough to experience them all at once over an extended period of time. On the days when I left the house before daybreak and made my way into the woods alone, my senses were on high alert so as to avoid a run-in with a wild hog. Whenever I crept through the woods, I had to move ever so slowly in order to observe nature’s signals without disturbing my surroundings. I noticed that the birds and squirrels would go quiet when a larger animal was present. I studied the ground for deer tracks and antler scrapes. I watched the weather and paid attention to wind direction so I could predict patterns of animal movement. When I sat for hours in a tree stand, day after day, I observed the comings and goings of the same lone spider, waiting patiently for a meal to land in its web. I was witness to the sun’s rising and setting along with my body’s own energy waxing and waning. I could not have been so alert and attuned to my intuition had I not embraced the trifecta of silence, stillness, and solitude. 

“Prior to the pandemic I didn’t realize that my intuition was something I needed to cultivate and care for. It didn’t occur to me that it could become dull or tainted. But finding time for solitude, stillness, and silence is key to tapping into our intuition.”  

On the afternoon of my 39th birthday, while seated alone in the tree stand, soaked from rain, I sensed the need to wait just a few more minutes until the last of the shooting light had disappeared. I was cold, wet, and frustrated, but my intuition prompted me to override my physical discomfort and emotions. I’m so grateful I heeded that intuitive sense, because shortly after I decided to stick it out just a bit longer, I was granted the perfect opportunity for a broadside shot. In the stillness I waited until my aim was steady. In the silence I could hear my breathing and paused until it had slowed. In the silence I could mentally run through all of the steps and safety checks I’d learned until the moment I squeezed the trigger. As a result of weeks spent re-cultivating my intuition, I was able to confidently make a clear, decisive kill that brought the animal down swiftly. By the end of our visit, I had shot a second deer and was able to fill our freezer for the next year. Even more rewarding than contributing to our family’s food supply was the return of my intuition, which would serve me long after the venison had been consumed.

Since that experience, I’ve paid closer attention to maintaining my intuition. Prior to the pandemic I didn’t realize that my intuition was something I needed to cultivate and care for. It didn’t occur to me that it could become dull or tainted. But finding time for solitude, stillness, and silence is key to tapping into our intuition. These elements give us space to think, pray, dream, hope, question, and sense, which in turn help us to navigate our spiritual growth, mental health, life circumstances, relationships, parenting journeys, physical well-being, creative expressions, and career paths.

If the concept of maintaining or tapping into your intuition resonates with you, but you’re unsure of how to integrate the process into your lifestyle, here are a few of my favourite habits that help keep up or refresh my intuition (especially since hunting isn’t an easy or consistent option for me, and probably isn’t your first choice either!):

  • Early morning quiet time before my family wakes up. I love sitting in front of the fireplace with my Bible, journal, and mug of tea. Notice I didn’t list my phone. I tap into my intuition best if the world hasn’t had a chance to invade my thoughts before I’ve attuned myself to God and spent some time in personal reflection following the night’s rest.
  • Walking is proven to stimulate creative thought, so whether I’m using the elliptical, walking through my neighbourhood, or hiking in nature, this activity helps to unleash questions and out-of-the-box thinking. If I schedule time to sit and write afterwards, or even follow up my walk with a voice memo, I consistently experience clarity of thought.
  • A hot shower always helps me to shed distractions and refocus my mind if I’m feeling overwhelmed by a long to-do list or am struggling to solve a problem. By the time I turn off the water, I often feel like my decision fatigue has lifted and am able to make decisions with more decisiveness and less internal conflict.
  • Creative pursuits such as painting have helped me hone my intuition. When I reach a block in my creative process, I trust that my intuitive process will lead me in the right direction. I can also sense when I need to put down my brush, because if I don’t, I’ll begin to make a mess of my work. Painting is a process that helps me to recognize when my intuition is telling me to pause. When I pay attention to that internal stop light in my creative pursuits, I am able to recognize that same alert when it flares up in other areas of my life, and pause or backtrack as needed.
  • Limiting the world’s voice through carefully curating the content I ingest is integral to keeping my intuition sharp. News, social media, and entertainment all have a place in my life, but I have to be extremely picky about the quality and the quantity I allow into my day lest it drown out God’s Word, my own intuition, wisdom of wise counsel, and the input of those who matter most to me.
  • Social boundaries are probably the hardest element to implement in order to maintain my intuition, but I know that when I am over-scheduled or there is not enough time in my schedule for the silence, stillness, and solitude needed, I risk reducing my intuitive acuity. I am a social introvert, and experience a constant tug-of-war between saying ‘yes’ to social activities and prioritizing more restful, quieter ones that help keep my intuition ‘levels’ at their peak. However, when I look at the ‘long game’, I remember that rest helps me keep my calendar, social activities, and obligations sustainable, my decisions free from guilt, and my relationships as healthy as possible.

It can feel overwhelming to know where to begin when it comes to tapping into your intuition, but taking just one quiet walk or a half an hour of solitude before the world wakes up, and then repeating the process on a regular basis, can make a massive difference in how you tap into and utilize your intuition. There are many times when, in spite of what logic or rationale may dictate, we experience a nagging feeling that nudges us towards everything from how you pray for someone, to whether or not you get that spot or lump checked out, to an unease about the presence of a certain co-worker or neighbour, to that urge to help a stranger. We were given intuition for a reason, but if it’s not nurtured, it cannot serve the purpose it was meant to fulfill.

If you are longing for an extended time of rest that would enable you to tap into your intuition more fully, why not join me on a Women’s Walking Retreat in the Cotswolds. During our week of walks through the English countryside, you’ll have the time and space to let decision fatigue fade, the natural world speak to your senses, your spiritual life deepen, your imagination flourish, and your intuition reawaken. If you’re feeling conflicted, burdened, overwhelmed, or in need of a re-set, my Women’s Walking Retreat has been designed with you in mind.

As we walk, we’ll stop in ancient churches along the way where you’ll have time to pray or journal, and where we’ll sing hymns and connect. I’ll be teaching on creativity and rest throughout the retreat so that you can take the restoration and inspiration you experience and integrate it into your rhythms back home. My co-leader is a trained therapist and will be providing support if you’d like to process with her. This retreat is designed to offer a time of restoration and inspiration that will serve you for years to come. Please email me at hello@bringinginspirationhome.com if you are interested! You can also click HERE for details.

I hope to see you there!  — Jaime

Looking for more slow living strategies to increase your rest, enhance your creativity, and bring inspiration home? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for slow living inspiration, travel tips, and opportunities to rest, create, and explore the world with me in person. Join me on the journey HERE.

Curious about pursuing silence? Click HERE for another blog post on the Value of Silence in a World of Noise.

“I could not have been so alert and attuned to my intuition had I not embraced the trifecta of silence, stillness, and solitude.”  

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A Rusty Pickup & The Pursuit of Play

My husband’s 1999 dark green Dodge Dakota, with its 200,000 plus miles, broken air conditioning, and doors that don’t open properly, has been collecting cobwebs and growing rust spots while sitting on the side of our suburban driveway for the past 5 years.

“Ol’ Betsy”, Will’s affectionate nickname for his first vehicle, had been relegated to retirement  in 2018 upon the arrival of both our third child, and a new (to us) white Ford F-150 that could accommodate carseats and get us places with more reliability. In spite of my gentle yet persistent ‘encouragement’ that he wish Betsy a ‘Bon Voyage’, Will just couldn’t find the time or inclination to part ways with the pickup that had borne witness to so much of his personal history.

Recently, however, my patience had been nearing the end of its tether. Over the past year, we’ve been paying to store a pop-up tent trailer elsewhere, instead of parking it where Ol’ Betsy had taken up residence. Essentially, this meant that the truck we hadn’t been using was costing us money on a monthly basis. Each month I would narrow my eyes at the storage company’s statement that came in the mail, draw in a deep breath, and pray for patience. Finally I’d sigh in recollection of my own hangups which Will has graciously abided throughout our marriage.

And then this summer, Will’s reluctance to give up on his old pickup paid off.

While I was in England leading my Women’s Walking Retreat through the bucolic countryside, Will found himself at the centre of a wild traffic accident which involved a 19-year old flipping his Honda Civic in the middle of an intersection and landing his car atop the hood & driver’s side panel of our truck while in mid-air. Unbelievably, everyone involved walked away from the accident. Our F-150, though technically drivable, was destined for demolition. We recently accepted the insurance company’s payout and have been on the search for another pickup ever since.

In the meantime, Will has, much to everyone’s amazement, gotten Ol’ Betsy running, smog checked, and registered again. Initially the plan was for him to drive her to work and back until a replacement vehicle was found. After which we would finally sell or donate the Dodge.

But then it started. First Will mentioned needing to replace the driver’s side window so he wouldn’t need to hold it up halfway when showing his badge at his work entrance. That seemed practical and made sense to me. Next he suggested fixing the interior roof panel,  which I thought was an odd waste of time. We were sitting in the near dark under the olive tree in our garden on a warm August night, when he casually dropped the possibility of buffing the rust spots out and repainting them. Travis by his side for every trip to AutoZone. Ol’ Betsy restored to her former glory. I groaned inwardly. Ol’ Betsy hadn’t just received a new lease on life, she was going to get a full-blown engine-to-taillight makeover.

In my mind’s eye, I played out the next few years and envisioned a painstakingly slow process that would see Betsy sidled smugly up to my SUV on the driveway during her multi-year remodel and end in a triumphant finale featuring Will tossing the keys to our firstborn for her inaugural driving lesson. Exasperating in some respects, but not the worst outcome I could imagine.

So I kept my mouth shut and peered up at the first speckles of starlight gazing back at me through the silhouette of our garden grove, and realized that the possibility of redoing this truck was Will’s chance to play. To tinker, fix, and create. To teach our kids about mechanics and fixing things that still have a chance, instead of tossing something with potential and succumbing to the wild call of consumerism. It was noble and hare-brained and I loved him for it. He has loved me through, and in spite of, and because of so many creative, beautiful, wild ideas that don’t always make fiscal sense and often take up more time than they should. Here was my chance to extend the same grace and humour his desire for creative expansion.

Creative exploration & outlets do not require a purpose. Play need not have a specific outcome. Just as children require the opportunity to play in order to thrive, we too as adults need the chance to fling ourselves headlong into pursuits that allow our minds to unhinge, relax, and unravel. When this happens, all sorts of breakthroughs, solutions, and epiphanies can seep through the cracks of our stress come undone. 

I believe that through the process of working on his old truck, Will is likely to experience lightbulb moments that have nothing to do with mechanics, but provide clarity in other areas of his life. Creative play and exploration have tangible, practical effects that can help us process our past, problem-solve in our present, and plan for our future. Who knows, maybe that future looks like seeing your 5 year-old son one day hop into the driver’s seat of your pickup from the last century and drive off into the distance.  

“Creative exploration & outlets do not require a purpose. Play need not have a specific outcome” 

Do you wish you could enter into a world of play in order to explore the possibilities and lose yourself in the beauty of creative output? Join me on my next Women’s Walking Retreat through the Cotswolds for opportunities to rest, play, and pursue creative outlets. Let your imagination be reignited on our weeklong walks through the English countryside and bring inspiration home with you. Click HERE for details & dates.

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