This morning, as I sat next to my almost 6-year old while doing math together on the couch, I tousled his curls which were bathed with streaks of golden morning light, and thought, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”
How wild that at one time I vowed I would never homeschool. Now, in our 8th year of home education, I know I’ll never look back and wish I had taken more time for and with our kids. The sweet, slow mornings when we are all at our most fresh and most ready to delve into the day’s endeavours are ours to savour, both now and for a lifetime, as we one day reflect on the years in which together we laid a foundation. A foundation for layered learning where subjects are interwoven and life lessons are uncovered. A foundation for life that revolves around the home and family, rather than home and family fitting into the the world’s expectations. A foundation for lifelong curiosity and growth that celebrates each of our unique gifts, strengths, and passions. I never thought this would be our path, and yet, it’s been a journey that has taught me so much and has given me more than I could ever have wished for as a parent in pursuit of all that is good, beautiful, and true.
Will and I both enjoyed our public school experiences and assumed we’d adopt the same route for our kids. Plus, I didn’t consider myself the patient, teacher type. I also knew I’d want my ‘me’ time back once the kids were school age. As an introvert, I coveted my alone time, and as a parent, it has been the most difficult thing for me relinquish. While kids were in school, I presumed that I would have the time to pursue a career, organize our home, and maintain optimal health and fitness. But those goals were superseded by something more important to me – time with loved ones.
At a certain point in our parenting journey, we realized that the school system here in California would limit time with our families who lived thousands of miles away. As it wasn’t as feasible to take our kids out of school for a couple weeks at a time like my parents did when I was growing up, we began to consider the option of homeschool. We didn’t want to be limited to travel during peak season and pay for flights during Christmas or have our parents miss out on visits while the kids were in school.
As we began to investigate the world of homeschooling, other ‘pros’ cropped up, like slow mornings, no pick-up and drop-off lines, learning opportunities that fit each child’s personal needs and styles, no homework, ample opportunities to explore and adventure, and homeschool communities that fostered rich learning environments.
Of course there are cons – well actually, the only one I can think of is that I don’t get as much time alone as I’d prefer. But one day the kids will all be gone, the house will be quiet, and I’m sure I’ll miss the noise, clutter, and beauty of their presence more than I can imagine.
The pros, however, continue to increase with each passing year. Here are just a few that I’ve experienced over the years:
- Plenty of time with siblings. Of all the social interactions I care about, the relationships between my kids is the one I care about almost more than any other. The connections my kids are fostering with their siblings while young has been one of the best benefits to homeschooling. Had Lauren been in Kindergarten the year Travis was born, she would have missed out on much of his time as a baby and our bonding as a family. Instead, she was able to help nurture and care for him every day, right from the get-go. Natalie and Travis, who are incredibly similar in personality and therefore sometimes clash, have ample time to work on their conflict resolution. All of them experience endless opportunities to lean on and support one another as they grow – something I pray continues for the rest of their lives. That’s not to say they wouldn’t lean on each other while growing up or as adults if they went to school – my sister and I did and do, as do plenty of other siblings who have gone through traditional schooling. I’m just thankful that homeschooling allows me to cultivate more time together as a family unit and nurture their sibling relationships in a slow, intentional fashion.
- I get to choose curriculum and topics that suit each of my kids and our family. Currently Travis is very into volcanoes, so that’s his focus in science at the moment. Natalie wants to be a farmer, so I’m always looking for content that nurtures this desire. Lauren is passionate about cooking, and gets to use her math, science, and creativity in the kitchen whenever she wants. I have found a math curriculum that is so beautiful and rich it makes ME excited about math! I’m able to weave art, history, and geography together. Blend science and latin in beautiful ways. Learn how to make English grammar feel more fun. Read literature and poetry that comes alive. Listen to and play music that fills our home with magic. The feast is endless, and I get to lead the way as Master of Ceremonies.
- There is ample time for free play, socialization, and boredom. The kids get multiple hours every day to play, read, create, and do their own thing. During those hours, especially now that they’re older, I get to relax, work, tidy, work out, etc. I believe that plenty of unsupervised free play is a key component to helping kids form creative, confident decision-making skills, and that too much scheduled programming diminishes these opportunities. Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to go against the cultural norms and slow down and provide our kids with large swaths of time that aren’t structured or standardized.
- Homeschooling has enriched our social circle greatly, and we could spend way more time socializing than we currently do – but we wouldn’t get our schoolwork done if we took up every opportunity to socialize! The field trips, day time play dates, homeschool community days, and visits with friends and family who come to stay have been a huge blessing to our family, and I’m so thankful that homeschooling enables us to prioritize relationships — I want my kids to learn that work will always be there, but people come first. Again, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in any other context, I’m just speaking from my personal experience, knowing that our schedules would be more jam-packed with with more relationships on the back burner than is my preference.
- I get to protect my kids’ innocence and childhood. I’ll be honest, their schooled counterparts are much more conscious of the world’s cares and concerns than they are, and as elementary-aged kids, I’m totally fine with that. There is PLENTY of time for them to become more aware of complex and grown-up issues. They only get to be kids for so long, and I want to protect that precious time as best I can. In grade 6, Lauren is already exposed to the issues facing the girls in her youth group who attend school, such as self-harm, drugs, and alcohol. Homeschooling doesn’t mean my kids have to live in a bubble, in fact, I work hard to ensure they don’t, but it does offer them a shelter from the intensity of the world when they need it.
- We experience the benefits of a one-room school, where older kids help younger ones, and younger students learn just by being present with older kids. This plays out in our homeschool community as well, with the older kids helping out parents by coming alongside the younger ones. Girls and boys of various ages intermingle much more easily than I experienced when I was growing up in school, and I take great delight in watching all of these dynamics play out.
And of course there is the time with family. Recently I gave the kids a week off from school so we could all be as present as possible when my Grandma, great uncle, and great aunt came to visit. They got to explore San Francisco and Carmel-by-the-Sea, spend time baking in the kitchen with my great aunt, and enjoyed hearing stories from the past. It was a much-needed pause in the middle of our fall and exactly what I hoped for when we embarked upon our homeschooling journey.
Because of the flexibility homeschooling affords, our kids have had the opportunity to spend extended time in Mississippi hunting, visiting historic monuments, and growing in their knowledge of family history. We’ve traveled to Manitoba in the fall and stayed in a friend’s rustic cabin on the river for 3 weeks, vacationed to Arizona in winter with cousins and grandparents, road-tripped around Vancouver Island in the spring, and enjoyed visits with friends and family whenever they’ve come our way, taking off a day here or a week there, whenever it suits us. Will doesn’t get that many days off per year, but as the kids have gotten older and easier to travel with, I’ve been able to take them to see family on my own, giving them opportunities they wouldn’t have had if they had been in school. The freedom to be with family is priceless, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do school from wherever we choose.
I realize that homeschooling is not for everyone, and that being able to stay home with the kids and homeschool is a privilege. I will also say that if homeschooling is something you long for, there are ways to make it happen. We decided that if it wasn’t feasible for me to stay at home with the kids here in California, we would move to wherever that would be possible. I know a single mom who is working (often outside of the home) and homeschooling! Her daughter is now spending one day a week with us doing her schoolwork and I love that we can support them in this endeavour. If you’re sensing that homeschool might be something you’d like to explore, I’d encourage you to seek out a homeschool community in your area and pay them a visit, find a Wild + Free conference to attend, check out a curriculum that could enrich your students’ educational experience and perhaps fill in some gaps (The Good and the Beautiful is one of my favourites), bring home rich read-alouds from the library (Sarah Mackenzie has the best booklists for all ages). You could even hire a coach to help you navigate the homeschool space – I’d recommend reaching out to Leah Boden. Also, her book Modern Miss Mason is a fabulous way to dip your toes into learning and exploring alongside your children, whether you homeschool or not.
There are a myriad of ways to educate and enrich your children’s lives through learning – homeschooling is just the one that has served us best thus far. And while we plan to continue on the homeschooling path, I’ve learned to never say never. So no guarantees about what the future will hold for our kids and their education, but I’m sure it will be an adventure no matter what! Here’s to another year of slow and steady learning ahead.
