Category: Lifestyle

The Year I Decided to Go Grey

August 11, 2025

“Our society has perpetuated the belief that if a woman ages naturally, she’ll look old, and that old is the opposite of beautiful.”

Last spring I accidentally started going grey.

I kept meaning to dye my roots, but for the first time since I was 25, (when my first grey hairs appeared) I put off the chore longer than usual. I told myself that it was summer and my hair was usually in some version of a messy bun anyway. That I’d refresh my roots at the end of summer. Eventually enough of my roots were showing (a stark contrast to my dark brown hair) that my hair looked a bit ridiculous. My kids even noticed and were aghast at the amount of visible grey. They had never commented on it before, but were now grimacing at the sight, and sharing, with stark frankness, how they felt about having a mom in their early forties going grey.

I explained to them that I’d been going grey for years, but had just been dyeing my roots to match my hair. Ever since I was a child, I’d been a brunette with shoulder length, curly, brown hair. As a child, I remember the aesthetic contrast between my grandmother and her sisters, primarily because she coloured her hair and they didn’t. I thought she looked young and fashionable and vowed then that one day I too would keep the grey at bay. Besides, I loved being a brunette and intended to maintain that aspect of my identity through old age.

But then last summer, I realized that my daughters had virtually no examples of what going grey in your forties could look like. I considered the fact that 100 years ago they would have been surrounded by plenty of women my age whose hair was transitioning to shades of grey or white, but that our modern society does not celebrate the process of natural aging for women. Instead it promotes a mentality of anti-aging and equates beauty with youth.

Unwilling to let my children go without an example of what it looks like for a woman in her 40’s to age naturally, I decided to give greying a whirl. I could always go back to my brunette beginnings, but I committed to seeing what would happen if I officially stopped covering my silver strands for just one year. Besides, I told myself, I had eliminated virtually every other toxic chemical from my beauty routine, it was probably time to let go of this last one.

I was not prepared for the first round of results.

The beginning was rough. The grey roots spread quickly, leaving a massive swath of silver down the middle of my head for so long that I had to wear my hair up for months, lest I look like a skunk! This was truly the most difficult part of going grey. I hated how my hair looked and missed wearing my hair down whenever I wanted. It also seemed like for the first time ever, my kids were embarrassed by my appearance. The whole exercise felt downright miserable for the first six months.

And then something shifted.

I started losing less hair when brushing through my tangles in the shower. My curls became less frizzy and more defined. My roots were becoming thicker and my hair fuller. Even the greys were softer and less coarse than before. The absence of harsh chemicals was leaving my hair in a healthier state than it had been in years, and I felt optimistic about these distinct changes. Even my hair dresser noticed the difference in my hair health.

One change that still remains a mystery to me is that, while I’d been dyeing only my roots for years, the rest of my hair seemed to fade to a lighter shade of brown. I now possess a mix of grey and light brown locks. Never having had natural highlights before, this blend offers depth and interest to my hair I’m beginning to enjoy.

At about 9 months into the experiment, another new aspect of going grey came on the scene. People began complimenting my grey hair, some women even divulging their own tentative urge to stop colouring their hair just to see what might happen if they gave their brains, bodies, and bank accounts a break from the high maintenance that constant colouring requires. I’ve been told on multiple occasions, that their hesitancy lies in the fear of looking old.

Our society has perpetuated the belief that if a woman ages naturally, she’ll look old, and that old is the opposite of beautiful. If anything has inspired me to dig my heels in and not give up on this experiment, it’s been my desire to see a shift in this mentality. If not for my generation, then perhaps for my kids’. The only way it’s going to become just as acceptable for women to go grey as it is for men is if more women begin challenging the status quo.

I will admit that I’ve had to adjust my own way of thinking whenever I look in the mirror. First of all, I’m just not used to NOT being a dark brown brunette. It’s going to feel foreign to have to write ‘grey’ in forms that require me to provide my hair colour. There is a sense of loss that I’ve experienced in going grey, a recognition that I am no longer ‘young’ and that middle age is fast approaching. And yet the visual I see in the mirror is actually helping me accept this fact, rather than fight against it. I’m spending more time on my gut health and physical strength that my outward appearance these days. These efforts will eventually impact how I look on the outside, but more importantly, give me a better shot at longevity and quality of life.

Now that I’ve arrived at the one year anniversary of my deciding to intentionally go grey, I’m feeling more confident in my own skin (and hair) than I have in years. My husband loves my new look and my kids have all come to me individually over the past little while to tell me they actually like my hair and think it looks pretty. One of my friends has been inspired to take the plunge and try the experiment herself. That’s the great thing about deciding to go grey: if you don’t like it, you can always change it. There’s no permanence in the decision if you don’t want there to be. But you just might experience some freedom in the process of letting yourself go grey.

If you’re considering the idea or are in the process, I’d love to hear from you! Natural aging doesn’t have to equate to looking old, ugly, or like we’ve let ourselves go. Instead we can celebrate the blessing it is to age and the natural beauty that accompanies each year we have been gifted.

“I realized that my daughters had virtually no examples of what going grey in your forties could look like. I considered the fact that 100 years ago they would have been surrounded by plenty of women my age whose hair was transitioning to shades of grey or white, but that our modern society does not celebrate the process of natural aging for women.“

If you’d like to read some of my more recent reflections on rest, here are some of my most recent newsletters:

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Photographer with Nikon in the Cotswolds.

Photo of Smiling Woman on Sofa

Woman in pink blazer in front of Cotswolds Door

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Slowing Down for the Season Ahead

August 1, 2025

Earlier this summer I had grand plans to launch a Creation Before Consumption challenge for the month of July. Instead I wound up facing some real life challenges, which resulted in a lack of bandwidth for a challenge of my own devising! I also took an unannounced hiatus from posting on social media and from my weekly newsletters.

There are times in life when large amounts of our creative energy needs to be diverted to daily problem solving and decision making, and this is what was required of my creative capacity throughout the month of July. My creative outlets became quieter and more intimate: gratitude journaling, hymns on my late Grandma’s piano, gifts procured and gifted, a simple watercolour sketch. These small creative offerings kept me grounded – breathing deeply, observing the world around me, moving slowly, listening to God’s whispered voice in my heart. They helped me to find moments of deep joy even on the days when I felt I overwhelmed with anxiety.

Thankfully, amidst our summer plans taking some unexpected twists and turns, there were also threads of great delight woven through never-ending challenges. Leisurely visits with dear friends, glorious time in and on my favourite lakes, breathtaking views, fantastic food, and sweet memories made with my family speckled the July landscape and I made sure to list them and recall them so that we could treasure the good times and ensure they would surface repeatedly over time.

At one point I sat with our kids and discussed the merits of difficult seasons and unexpected challenges: that the good times are rarely what shape our character, that struggles provide us with opportunities to empathize with others, that trials can draw us closer to God as we rely on Him, that perseverance prepares us to face future obstacles with the tools we need. Of course this discussion came during a moment of peace and clarity, not when I felt like I was drowning in my fears. July was an exercise in recalling Scripture that supported me in order for me to support others. It was difficult and divine all at once.

Now that July is over and August has arrived, I feel like I’m still craving a slow summer experience. And yet around me families are preparing for school, extra-curricular activities are starting, and the calendar is filling up. I’m also getting ready for my next Women’s Walking Retreat through the Cotswolds at the end of the month. But my body, mind, and soul are in need of deep rest. So what to do?

Here’s what I’m aiming for daily during the month of August:

Movement every day. A walk, an at-home workout, a hike, or laps at the pool.
Keeping up with my vitamins & minerals.
Bible reading with the kids every week day at lunch (we’ve been doing this for years, but got out of habit in July).
Not checking email, texts, or social media until I am actually prepared to sit down and reply or engage.
Sitting down to rest or laying down when my body is begging for a break. I don’t need to push myself this month. My best work and most productive efforts always come from a place of rest.

Does the month or season ahead feel overwhelming to you? What can you do to prepare yourself for the upcoming season and give yourself the opportunity to slow down and integrate sustaining practices into your daily rhythms that will help sustain you in the days and weeks to come?

Here are 5 ways you can slow down that require you to add NOTHING to your calendar:

Don’t sleep with your phone in your bedroom. Avoid the habit of picking it up first thing every morning.
Next time you get in the car, don’t turn on music, a book, the radio, or a podcast. Observe how your body is feeling, let your thoughts meander, and contemplate the world around you.
When you lay down at night and wake up each morning, engage in some deep breathing.
Eat sitting down rather than on the go, and eat more slowly, savouring your bites. When nearing the end of a meal, ask yourself if you’re still hungry rather than whether you are full? The western mindset of eating until we are full means we tend to overeat, compared to the more ancient philosophy of eating until we are no longer hungry, which aids in optimal digestion.
Sing, hum, or breathe deeply in order to activate the vagus nerve. This lowers stress, reduces inflammation, and brings the body out of ‘flight or fight’ mode.

These photos were taken from the Point Arenas Lighthouse on the Mendocino Coast in May of this year. The beauty and the ferocity of the water crashing against the rocks reminds me of how the destructive and the divine can co-exist both in nature and in our own lives.

If you are longing for an opportunity to slow down and explore life at a slower pace, both at home and abroad, subscribe to my regular newsletter for slow living strategies and travel opportunities. Click HERE for details.

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February is the New January

January 1, 2025

I am one of those over-zealous planners who salivates at the thought of a new calendar and the possibility of planning out the new year. I purchase my trusty Moleskine calendar plus my wall calendars in September so that come the new year – scratch that, come the day after Christmas – I’m ready to begin planning for the year ahead. One of the first things I enter into my new Moleskine is for the 1st of September…when I remind myself to buy my new planner and calendars for the coming year. Obsessive much?

As someone with ideas galore and a surplus of dreams I’d like to pursue, not to mention being someone who relies on visual and aesthetic organization in order to function well, I become giddy about fresh blank spaces where the workings of my mind can take shape. I also need our family’s schedule written down somewhere in order to help me make decisions about what we can and cannot say ‘yes’ to throughout the year. With each passing year I find it more vital to carve out margin in my calendar and leave space for rest, the unknown, and the spontaneous.

That being said, normally the week between Christmas and New Year’s is one of my favourites. Full of rest and leftovers and planning. I usually use this week to plan out my year in advance, enter important dates into my calendars, and organize my creative vision for the year with regards to work, homeschool, and my own personal pursuits. This year, however, has been different.

This year I felt a distinct nudge to hold off on leaping into the new year with a burst of energy (often short-lived if I’m being honest). Instead, I leaned into the urge to take my cue from nature, wherein winter is a time of dormancy, stillness, and rest. Nature does not create year-round, it takes a break in order to produce its best work at a later date. And so I’ve lingered in the Christmas season longer than normal. It’s New Year’s Day and most of my Christmas decor is still up when normally I’m ready to clear it all away to make room for the fresh start I feel ready to pursue both mentally and physically. Instead, I’m lingering in the glow of the tree lights and Christmas village a little longer. The empty stockings and citrus garland still hanging on the mantle encourage me to reflect on the Christmas season that is coming to a close, rather than rush forth into a bright and shiny January. There are a few Christmas books I just picked up from the library that I’m still looking forward to reading. We are, after all, still within the 12 Days of Christmas, so why not!

While I did begin filling my planner in with important dates, I have held off on most of my planning and have decided to use the entire month of January to let my ideas marinate and to allow my brain and my body time to rest. I’m claiming February as the new January…for myself at least. Why not let my fresh start begin after I’ve had time to come down off of the Christmas high and have spent some time surrendering to the stillness of the season?

Of course real life still happens. I can’t just remain in that nebulous post-Christmas haze for another 4 weeks (although maybe next year I’ll give that a whirl!). So what will this season of surrender look like? Here’s what I’m prioritizing for the month of January:

Early bedtimes so my body can recharge and get more sleep.
Less sugar and more protein so I can fuel my body best.
More time outdoors in order to take advantage of the light, which helps produce more Vitamin D, and also resets my circadian rhythms.
Pared down social plans and ‘busy’ activities.
Less screen time in order to minimize distractions, unnatural stimulation, and mental overwhelm.

If you could pick just one of these, or another focus entirely, what would you pursue? I hope the beginning of your new year is off to a gentle start.

Jaime

PS // I’ll be back on the blog in February to report on how this new treatment of January panned out. For weekly updates and more slow living inspiration and solutions, you can partake of my more regular musings by subscribing to my newsletter.

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What to do with all that Halloween Candy?

October 30, 2024

So I have to ask: are there other parents out there as frustrated and bewildered as I am by the staggering amount of candy being foisted upon our kids these days? Candy and junk food offerings no longer seem relegated to holidays, birthday parties, and a visit to the doctor’s office that ends with a token lollipop. Instead, just about every single kid-related event or gathering we attend includes the opportunities to ingest sugars, dyes, and high-fructose corn syrup. WHY? While I can’t answer that question, I can make decisions that influence how my kids respond to the junk food buffet they’re repeatedly exposed to. And with Halloween fast approaching, I’m sharing this year’s plan for dealing with the Great Candy Onslaught of 2025.

But first, I want to address the question you might be asking. WHY? Why be so concerned with the simple, childlike pleasure of amassing a mountain of candy? My answer is this: how can we expect kids to intuit their natural rhythms and form a healthy relationship to food if we encourage them to fill up on some of the worst offenders: toxic dyes, artificial sweeteners, and every unpronounceable ingredient found on the back of a candy wrapper?

In our home we talk a lot about making better choices, moderation, and swapping low quality treats for more elevated options. I don’t want to ban sugar or treats, I want my kids to be able to tell the difference between junk and quality. I want them to sense what their bodies are telling them when they eat poor quality ‘food products’, and to seek alternatives. I long for them to enjoy high quality and/or homemade options so that they no longer desire junk. Actually, they already do this so much more than I did when I was young and I’m so impressed by their shifting preferences!

This past year I’ve given my kids the option of trading out treats they receive (Everywhere! All the time! What on earth!?) for good quality chocolate, home baked treats, pastries from a local bakery, etc. Almost every time they come home with junk, they ask to swap it out for something that doesn’t make them feel gross. When we are out, they mostly choose non-dye options when offered, and also choose homemade desserts over store-bought ones (my 11 and 9-year old girls are much more prone to this than my 6-year old boy, but that’s to be expected). On the odd occasion when they choose the less healthy option, I don’t criticize, and sometimes even join in.

This Halloween I came up with a new idea for how to handle the incoming candy: they’ll each keep a small bag of favourites and trade the rest in for an outing to the movies where they can enjoy their treats. When I proposed the option to the kids, they were fully on board. Not only will we have the fun of dressing up and trick-or-treating together, but we’ll also enjoy more time and create more memories together as a result of the trade. My girls also suggested we keep some candy to use for gingerbread constructions come Christmas. I love that they too, are looking for ways to enjoy the collecting of candy without ingesting it all!

Here are a few more ideas for what to do with all that leftover halloween candy:

Offer for your kids trade it in for a shopping trip (doesn’t have to be big or lavish!). Last year I told them that a specific amount of pieces of candy would earn them a specific cash value, so the more candy they gave me, the more they had to spend.
Swap out the candy in exchange for a trip to an old-fashioned candy store and purchase a small amount of better candy to enjoy and learn about.
Trade candy for baking a dessert of their choice together and enjoying it with a movie.
Set up a prize box where kids can barter/swap out their candy over time. This might help with kids who don’t want to immediately part with their loot all at once!
Find a dentist that has a buy-back program where they offer to purchase your leftover candy. Let the kids do some shopping, save it up, or even better, do something to serve someone in need.

How do you handle the candy collection and consumption during this season or throughout the year? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below.

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Reflections on our 8th Year of Homeschooling

October 15, 2024

This morning, as I sat next to my almost 6-year old while doing math together on the couch, I tousled his curls which were bathed with streaks of golden morning light, and thought, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

How wild that at one time I vowed I would never homeschool. Now, in our 8th year of home education, I know I’ll never look back and wish I had taken more time for and with our kids. The sweet, slow mornings when we are all at our most fresh and most ready to delve into the day’s endeavours are ours to savour, both now and for a lifetime, as we one day reflect on the years in which together we laid a foundation. A foundation for layered learning where subjects are interwoven and life lessons are uncovered. A foundation for life that revolves around the home and family, rather than home and family fitting into the the world’s expectations. A foundation for lifelong curiosity and growth that celebrates each of our unique gifts, strengths, and passions. I never thought this would be our path, and yet, it’s been a journey that has taught me so much and has given me more than I could ever have wished for as a parent in pursuit of all that is good, beautiful, and true.

Will and I both enjoyed our public school experiences and assumed we’d adopt the same route for our kids. Plus, I didn’t consider myself the patient, teacher type. I also knew I’d want my ‘me’ time back once the kids were school age. As an introvert, I coveted my alone time, and as a parent, it has been the most difficult thing for me relinquish. While kids were in school, I presumed that I would have the time to pursue a career, organize our home, and maintain optimal health and fitness. But those goals were superseded by something more important to me – time with loved ones.

At a certain point in our parenting journey, we realized that the school system here in California would limit time with our families who lived thousands of miles away. As it wasn’t as feasible to take our kids out of school for a couple weeks at a time like my parents did when I was growing up, we began to consider the option of homeschool. We didn’t want to be limited to travel during peak season and pay for flights during Christmas or have our parents miss out on visits while the kids were in school.

As we began to investigate the world of homeschooling, other ‘pros’ cropped up, like slow mornings, no pick-up and drop-off lines, learning opportunities that fit each child’s personal needs and styles, no homework, ample opportunities to explore and adventure, and homeschool communities that fostered rich learning environments.

Of course there are cons – well actually, the only one I can think of is that I don’t get as much time alone as I’d prefer. But one day the kids will all be gone, the house will be quiet, and I’m sure I’ll miss the noise, clutter, and beauty of their presence more than I can imagine.

The pros, however, continue to increase with each passing year. Here are just a few that I’ve experienced over the years:

Plenty of time with siblings. Of all the social interactions I care about, the relationships between my kids is the one I care about almost more than any other. The connections my kids are fostering with their siblings while young has been one of the best benefits to homeschooling. Had Lauren been in Kindergarten the year Travis was born, she would have missed out on much of his time as a baby and our bonding as a family. Instead, she was able to help nurture and care for him every day, right from the get-go. Natalie and Travis, who are incredibly similar in personality and therefore sometimes clash, have ample time to work on their conflict resolution. All of them experience endless opportunities to lean on and support one another as they grow – something I pray continues for the rest of their lives. That’s not to say they wouldn’t lean on each other while growing up or as adults if they went to school – my sister and I did and do, as do plenty of other siblings who have gone through traditional schooling. I’m just thankful that homeschooling allows me to cultivate more time together as a family unit and nurture their sibling relationships in a slow, intentional fashion.
I get to choose curriculum and topics that suit each of my kids and our family. Currently Travis is very into volcanoes, so that’s his focus in science at the moment. Natalie wants to be a farmer, so I’m always looking for content that nurtures this desire. Lauren is passionate about cooking, and gets to use her math, science, and creativity in the kitchen whenever she wants. I have found a math curriculum that is so beautiful and rich it makes ME excited about math! I’m able to weave art, history, and geography together. Blend science and latin in beautiful ways. Learn how to make English grammar feel more fun. Read literature and poetry that comes alive. Listen to and play music that fills our home with magic. The feast is endless, and I get to lead the way as Master of Ceremonies.
There is ample time for free play, socialization, and boredom. The kids get multiple hours every day to play, read, create, and do their own thing. During those hours, especially now that they’re older, I get to relax, work, tidy, work out, etc. I believe that plenty of unsupervised free play is a key component to helping kids form creative, confident decision-making skills, and that too much scheduled programming diminishes these opportunities. Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to go against the cultural norms and slow down and provide our kids with large swaths of time that aren’t structured or standardized.
Homeschooling has enriched our social circle greatly, and we could spend way more time socializing than we currently do – but we wouldn’t get our schoolwork done if we took up every opportunity to socialize! The field trips, day time play dates, homeschool community days, and visits with friends and family who come to stay have been a huge blessing to our family, and I’m so thankful that homeschooling enables us to prioritize relationships — I want my kids to learn that work will always be there, but people come first. Again, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in any other context, I’m just speaking from my personal experience, knowing that our schedules would be more jam-packed with with more relationships on the back burner than is my preference.
I get to protect my kids’ innocence and childhood. I’ll be honest, their schooled counterparts are much more conscious of the world’s cares and concerns than they are, and as elementary-aged kids, I’m totally fine with that. There is PLENTY of time for them to become more aware of complex and grown-up issues. They only get to be kids for so long, and I want to protect that precious time as best I can. In grade 6, Lauren is already exposed to the issues facing the girls in her youth group who attend school, such as self-harm, drugs, and alcohol. Homeschooling doesn’t mean my kids have to live in a bubble, in fact, I work hard to ensure they don’t, but it does offer them a shelter from the intensity of the world when they need it.
We experience the benefits of a one-room school, where older kids help younger ones, and younger students learn just by being present with older kids. This plays out in our homeschool community as well, with the older kids helping out parents by coming alongside the younger ones. Girls and boys of various ages intermingle much more easily than I experienced when I was growing up in school, and I take great delight in watching all of these dynamics play out.

And of course there is the time with family. Recently I gave the kids a week off from school so we could all be as present as possible when my Grandma, great uncle, and great aunt came to visit. They got to explore San Francisco and Carmel-by-the-Sea, spend time baking in the kitchen with my great aunt, and enjoyed hearing stories from the past. It was a much-needed pause in the middle of our fall and exactly what I hoped for when we embarked upon our homeschooling journey.

Because of the flexibility homeschooling affords, our kids have had the opportunity to spend extended time in Mississippi hunting, visiting historic monuments, and growing in their knowledge of family history. We’ve traveled to Manitoba in the fall and stayed in a friend’s rustic cabin on the river for 3 weeks, vacationed to Arizona in winter with cousins and grandparents, road-tripped around Vancouver Island in the spring, and enjoyed visits with friends and family whenever they’ve come our way, taking off a day here or a week there, whenever it suits us. Will doesn’t get that many days off per year, but as the kids have gotten older and easier to travel with, I’ve been able to take them to see family on my own, giving them opportunities they wouldn’t have had if they had been in school. The freedom to be with family is priceless, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do school from wherever we choose.

I realize that homeschooling is not for everyone, and that being able to stay home with the kids and homeschool is a privilege. I will also say that if homeschooling is something you long for, there are ways to make it happen. We decided that if it wasn’t feasible for me to stay at home with the kids here in California, we would move to wherever that would be possible. I know a single mom who is working (often outside of the home) and homeschooling! Her daughter is now spending one day a week with us doing her schoolwork and I love that we can support them in this endeavour. If you’re sensing that homeschool might be something you’d like to explore, I’d encourage you to seek out a homeschool community in your area and pay them a visit, find a Wild + Free conference to attend, check out a curriculum that could enrich your students’ educational experience and perhaps fill in some gaps (The Good and the Beautiful is one of my favourites), bring home rich read-alouds from the library (Sarah Mackenzie has the best booklists for all ages). You could even hire a coach to help you navigate the homeschool space – I’d recommend reaching out to Leah Boden. Also, her book Modern Miss Mason is a fabulous way to dip your toes into learning and exploring alongside your children, whether you homeschool or not.

There are a myriad of ways to educate and enrich your children’s lives through learning – homeschooling is just the one that has served us best thus far. And while we plan to continue on the homeschooling path, I’ve learned to never say never. So no guarantees about what the future will hold for our kids and their education, but I’m sure it will be an adventure no matter what! Here’s to another year of slow and steady learning ahead.

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Finding Margin on Mondays

October 1, 2024

Mondays might be my most favourite day of the week. We usually have no plans for Mondays other than to delve into a fresh week of school and begin making our way through weekly chores and projects. As an introvert, I’m typically relieved to have a social break after the weekend. I also find that my energy for getting things accomplished is at its zenith on Mondays, so I like to get meal prep and bigger chores done early in the week. I don’t know about any other moms out there, but I tend to feel pretty wiped out by Friday afternoon, and am rarely the finest version of myself at that point in the week!

On this bright, blue-sky Monday morning, I was rather pleased about the day’s progress as I turned on my gas stove’s third burner and began boiling water for that night’s dinner. Veggies for mine and Will’s lunches were sautéing in one pan while bone broth was simmering in the stock pot. Travis was playing outside, burning off some energy, before I sat down with him for his schoolwork. Lauren and Natalie were already making their way through math and piano practice. There was a hum to our hive that felt purposeful and positive.

As I basked in the glow of a morning going strong, about to lower almost five pounds of chopped Yukon gold potatoes into a pot of boiling water, a sharp CRACK jolted me out of my reverie, and a simultaneous spray of shattered glass from along the back of the stovetop was sent flying into the potato water, across the range, and onto the kitchen floor. My efficient morning had been eradicated in an instant.

I sighed deeply as I switched off all three burners on the now crystalline-covered stovetop, shooed curious kids away from the blast site, and began sweeping up the debris. In spite of feeling utterly deflated, I was grateful that no glass had found its way into my eyes or skin. My middle child assessed the situation with the pragmatic reminder that, “At least we don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Quite right,” I agreed. If today had been a busy day, I would have had far less capacity to handle the hiccup with grace. I might have let my irritation with this fiasco affect my interactions with the kids in a negative manner. Instead, as I slowly began to clean up, I realized that this interruption was essentially another reminder to slow down and plan for more days like this one: days with enough margin for plans to go awry, schedules to shift, and for me to pivot.

So, how do I go about scheduling my days with maximum margin? It comes down to a simple question I can ask myself as often as I need to:

“What ACTUALLY NEEDS to get done?”

While I’m becoming better at assessing how much I can realistically get done in a specific period of time, I still have to regularly reassess my list of to-dos and weed out the things that can truly just wait.

When I consider what needs to get done versus what I would like to accomplish, it’s much easier to give myself permission to slow down and carve out space for life to ebb and flow.

In the long run, my responses to how I handle the unexpected hiccups and hardships will matter far more than what I accomplished on a day-to-day basis. How I treat others (and that’s not to say I’ve always done that well – far from it!) is always going to outlast whatever I achieve. When I pare down all my reasons for wanting to slow down more, the ones that matter most are these: to love God and love others as best I can.

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The Ultimate ‘Slow Down’ Checklist

September 24, 2024

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After several jam-packed days this past week, I could tell my body wanted to revolt, and that if I didn’t listen, I would get sick and be far more useless than if I slowed down and took a day or two to truly rest my brain and body. I realize I talk about slowing down all the time, so much so you think I’d be just stellar at it, but the truth is that I’m naturally prone to overdoing it.

How do I know when my brain and my body are telling me to hit the brakes? My digestive system doesn’t work as well as it should, I wake up thinking about all the things I have to do, my body is sore from holding tension, I stumble over my words and struggle to make strong decisions, and I’m not near as gracious with my family as I should be. Even though I knew in advance that the last four days were going to be filled with good things – birthday celebrations, photo shoots, family visits and calls – I also knew that going that long without sufficient down time would take a toll.

I feel like in my 20’s I could survive crazy schedules on sheer energy. Then in my 30’s, a decade filled with child-bearing and raising littles, I was riding the highs and lows just trying to get by. I naively thought that when I arrived at my 40’s, I could hit the ground running and bounce back after my early-motherhood years. Wow, was I mistaken. Instead I can sense the need to be gentle with myself, to work smarter not harder, to slow down more than I thought would be necessary, and to give my body and brain ample time and space to be restored.

So here I am, sometimes learning the hard way, but relieved that instead of pushing myself into overdrive and paying for it later, I am willing to call a time out and give myself a pass to rest. I think it’s a good example to my kids as well, for them to see me either overtly declaring time for extra rest or subtly carving out rest throughout our week. I want them to listen to their intuition and their bodies and remember that often our best work comes from a place of rest. But they won’t have the chance to learn to intuit this for themselves if a) I don’t lead by example, and b) I pack their schedules so full they don’t have the margin they need to practice intuiting.

Here then is My Ultimate Slow Down Checklist that serves as a reminder to slow down and rest:

Am I getting 8 hours of sleep each night?
Do I have time to sit and read my Bible, journal, and just BE for a few minutes each morning?
Am I getting regular workouts & time outdoors in my schedule?
Is my digestive system revolting or is it working smoothly? Do I have stomach issues? This is usually the result of a combination of stress and not eating properly.
Do I sit down to eat 3 healthy meals per day? Am I sitting down to eat with my family or am I eating on the go?
Do I have time for spontaneous calls/visits from/with friends or family without needing to multitask?
Am I cranky with my family? Do I have time for them or am I/are we on the go from morning until night?
Is decision-making harder than normal/than it should be?
Do I have time/energy to plan out my next day the night before?
Am I creating anything for sheer pleasure during my days?

If my answer is ‘no’ to 3 or more of these things, I know that I’m not running optimally. If my answer is ‘no’ to 5 or more of these questions, I know I’m risking my physical and mental health. It’s no wonder that I struggled to stay healthy and balanced during the years with babies and littles when, to be honest, checking off 5 of these would be a stretch!

You might be scanning the above list and thinking there’s no way you could make 7/10 of these items a regular part of your days. That’s okay. That’s because the checks and balances you need might look different. Mine are what work for me, but you might want to adapt the above list to suit you and your lifestyle better. Or you might really resonate with the list above and want to reflect on it and decide if you need some time to slow down and recover. Either way, no matter who we are, we all need to develop our intuition and take care of ourselves as best we can. We can’t run at a breakneck pace forever. Our bodies will eventually revolt, our relationships will suffer, and we won’t be able to live to the fullest the abundant life we’ve been given.

And with that, I’m taking a day to rest and just BE present with God and my family. I plan to stay in my pjs for longer than normal, give my kids a free pass on their school, spend as much of the day outdoors as possible, get off-screen, and nourish myself in all the ways I can. I’m no use to anyone if I run myself into the ground and get sick, so while part of me protests while looking at my calendar/to-do lists, I know intuitively that I will sacrifice so much more later than if I slow down now. I hope you too can check in with yourself this week and intuit your needs with confidence and compassion.

Want to join me for the ultimate opportunity to slow down? Come with me on a weeklong walk through the Cotswolds, where you can be immersed in the beauty and tranquility of the English countryside and experience restoration and inspiration along the way. Click HERE for more details.

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Selling My Kids on Sustainable Shopping

September 17, 2024

When I was in high school and college I did a lot of my clothes shopping at thrift stores. I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, was never put off by the dinginess of a less than sparkling shopping ambience, and felt especially thankful for how shopping second-hand could stretch my funds. The concept of ‘more with less’ is a tightly woven theme threaded throughout my Mennonite heritage, and I’ve never felt a stitch of shame with regards to purchasing used goods. In fact, this is a value I want to pass on to my kids, especially as we integrate more slow living strategies into our lifestyle.

Recently my daughters (on the verge of 11 and 9) expressed an interest in going back-to-school shopping for some new clothes. This is actually never something we’ve done, as we’ve mostly just ‘shopped’ from our friends’ hand-me-downs. If you are looking to implement the slow living rhythm of sustainable shopping, trading products or services in exchange for quality hand-me-downs is a great place to start.

For almost a decade I’ve been trading family photo shoots in exchange for my friend’s daughter’s gently used clothing and it’s a swap I’ve been incredibly grateful for. Not only has it saved me money, but time as well, which I would have had to spend in order to shop. Seasonal apparel dropped off at my door in exchange for family portraits – yes please!

But I digress. My daughters had heard that some of their friends had gone back-to-school clothes shopping with their moms and asked if we could go too. As I have begun to purchasing my own clothing with more awareness and intention, I spent some time researching sustainable clothing brands and local shops that sold ethically-made apparel for kids/pre-teens. The results stressed me out. Most of the options were either online only, crazy expensive, or not as ethical as they claimed to be.

Since my journey to cleaner food and beauty products never started out with a full-on overhaul, I decided that we would start simply in the sustainable clothes shopping arena as well. I took each of them on separate shopping dates to a large, local thrift store and out for lunch after. While there were no change rooms, each quickly got over the awkwardness of trying clothes on over their own in the aisles! For the record my daughters both wore spaghetti strap sun dresses with bike shorts underneath in order to try on clothes. This combo worked perfectly for trying everything on except jumpsuits!

During our shopping excursion, I not only had the opportunity to teach my girls how to pick out clothes that suited them, but look for clothes that would fit/work for the following season. I also took them through the women’s section and pointed out things I was looking for: natural fabrics like wool sweaters and jackets, linen blouses and dresses, tweed blazers etc. I explained that clothing made from natural fibres holds up better over time and is better for our health, compared to apparel made from synthetic fabrics.

One of the biggest lessons the girls were able to learn, was how much bang for your buck you get with second-hand shopping. After getting into the car with my eldest daughter, I looked up the brand and style of jeggings she had found 3 pairs of. Brand new, they were approximately $40 each. We purchased hers for $7.50 a piece. Her eyes were as big as saucers as she did the mental math. The glee on her face as she delighted in the savings let me know she was hooked on second-hand!

Of course shopping second-hand is just one of the ways we can move towards a slower, more sustainable shopping process. Both of my girls are interested in sewing, and while that is definitely not a skill of mine, it’s something I want to foster for them. They already enjoy taking apart damaged articles of clothing and stitching accessories for dolls. Heaven knows they’ll save me money if they can eventually sew some of their own wardrobe à la Ma Ingalls.

I also want to find a couple of ethical clothing brands that produce underwear, camisoles, and bras using more natural materials. And then there are our hand-me-down hauls which are honestly the best ever. We actually have a neighbour who supplies us with most of my son’s clothes as well. What a blessing! And yes, we will still continue to shop for the occasional pieces at Target, Old Navy, or on Amazon like we have over the past decade. The process towards a cleaner, less toxic, sustainable lifestyle is usually not an overnight overhaul but a slow and steady shift-for me at least. I’m more likely to maintain slower rhythms if I know that I can always make an exception for the easy option here and there.

One other thing to note. Over the years, I often used birthday/Christmas money to purchase the odd outfit from a Canadian maker called Nest & Nurture. Her work is stunning and sustainable and my kids wore their outfits for multiple seasons. I’ve now packed away these pieces that will pass down to their children beautifully because of the timeless styles and quality craftsmanship. I have LOVED the beauty and timelessness of these special items and would love to find something similar for these older girl/pre-teen years. If you have any recommendations, I’m all ears! I love supporting small, family-run businesses and want to encourage my kids to do the same. I’d much rather spend a little more and have less in terms of quantity, knowing I’m supporting a small business and family’s livelihood. Feel free to leave any suggestions for sustainable shopping in the comments below.

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3 Steps to a Less Stressful School Year

September 10, 2024

Over the years I have developed what I like to call slow living strategies that have helped me become more in sync with my natural rhythms, cope with the busy pace of life we experience living here in the San Francisco Bay area, and nurture the relationships that matter most. Of course there are seasons when I struggle to maintain the habits I’ve honed, and I have to admit that the start to this school year has been one of them.

While I’m becoming more consistent with working out and taking care of my health, my administrative rhythms have slipped recently, and I’m still in catch-up mode. I’m convinced that trying to maintain the perfect balance is not unlike chasing a unicorn – a mythical quest at best. That being said, having strategies that help me quickly recover when I am struggling in a specific area, are key to moving forward during a busy season. Last week I was especially grateful for one of my favourite strategies that I was able to implement following a pretty sizeable slip-up!

I began my descent into mistake-territory first thing on a Friday morning. While I’d held off on checking my email during the initial hour or so after waking, I happened to pop into my inbox just before breakfast and noticed that tickets for my girls’ upcoming theatre production had just gone on sale.

Last winter I wasn’t super quick on the draw with my wallet and as a result, missed out on optimal seats for my eldest daughter’s first show. Determined not to let that happen again, I sat down at the breakfast table, and in an attempt to ignore the morning hubub whirling around me, worked on booking tickets for multiple shows and the multiple family members and friends flying in for the occasion.

Within about 10 minutes the tickets were booked and I was more than a little self-satisfied that I’d accomplished this big ‘to-do’ item before breakfast. Later that morning while texting with a friend who knew the specific theatre well, I asked about the front-row seats I had purchased. While she confirmed that they were indeed eye-level with the stage, she also informed me that our seats wouldn’t allow my 5-year old to see the back of the stage. Well, shoot. So much for early-morning efficiency I thought.

Even though I was pretty sure the theatre wouldn’t let me change my seats, I decided to give the box office a call and ask. A pleasant voice answered and Carla (Karla?) searched for my order. Confused by my confident assertion that I’d purchased front-row seats for 4 shows, she double-checked the tickets and then explained that I’d made a not uncommon (but incredibly cringe-worthy) mistake. “You’ve flipped the seating chart around and booked the back row,” Carla/Karla explained. In an instant I went from hopeful I could shift our seats to a few rows back to horrified that my entire family would be seated in the nosebleed section. I began praying to God and begging to Carla/Karla simultaneously. Hearing the panic in my voice, Carla/Karla put me on hold in order to speak with her supervisor. Several nerve-wracking minutes of pacing and more prayer passed until I heard Carla/Karla exclaim, “Good news! We can make an exception and exchange your tickets over the phone right now. There will be a $10 change fee if that’s okay?” Okay? OKAY?! Never have I been so deliriously happy to pay a change fee. TAKE MY MONEY LADY!

After I had confirmed the new (and improved, not front row) tickets had been delivered safely to my inbox, I hung up the phone and just about cried with delight and overwhelm. In spite of my mistake, God and the people at our local theatre box office were gracious with me and saved me from handing out binoculars to our non-plussed parents so they would be able to actually see our girls on stage.

The next thing I needed to do was pull myself together on a deeper level, because clearly I was a hot mess. With so much home/family/extracurricular/school admin and messaging that comes with the beginning of the school year, I felt like I was drowning in to-dos. As a result, I was obviously not making decisions with clarity and forethought. I had also ignored my self-imposed rule that I don’t book tickets for anything with kids around. I had a major mixup with flight rebooking ten years ago that lead me to implement that rule, and I’ve stuck by it for a solid decade – until last week of course. My lapse in judgement that day reminded me to SLOW DOWN. For the rest of the day I held off on any other decisions or responses that could easily wait to be determined or sent until the next morning.

I also knew that I needed to utilize a strategy I’ve been relying on for YEARS when my brain feels like it’s overloaded and cannot contain additional information. I’d failed to take advantage of this strategy over the past couple weeks but knew it was time to revisit this favourite of mine. The strategy is known as a brain dump, and while I’ve hated the term for as long as I’ve used it, the poorly-named process is incredibly helpful.

Brain dumps are one of my all-time favourite tools to help me de-stress, reduce decision fatigue, prioritize what’s important, and slow down. Mine is a 3 part process that I’m going to share below.

Pull out a notebook and jot down EVERY SINGLE THING that I need to do or consider that isn’t already scheduled. This list typically winds up being a massive download of everything from grocery items to purchase, errands to run, correspondence to catch up on, paperwork to do, appointments to schedule, gifts to pick out, special events to plan, work projects to tackle, stuff to remind Will about, you name it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the list, I just write until my brain feels relieved and there’s nothing left for me to remember. I usually have to scroll through texts, inboxes, and other platform messaging to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s best if I try to do this when I’m going to be interrupted as little as possible.

2. Immediately following, or at another time that day, I make categories in my notebook so everything on the initial list has a place to go. Then I sort the list and check off each one as I enter it under the appropriate category. Here are a list of my typical categories:

- Home (mostly menial tasks)
- Yard/Garden
- Errands
- To Purchase
- Groceries
- School
- Extracurriculars (sub-headings for piano, theatre, etc.)
- Work
- Correspondence
- Computer (projects or to-do’s that require me to sit down at the computer)
- Will (things I need for Will to do)

3. The next thing I do is plug as many items from these lists as possible into my calendar. I learned this strategy from my current business coach Heather Boersma, and it has really helped me to actually tackle the stuff on my lists. Not everything gets an assigned date, but a large portion of my lists do. This prevents me from having to stare at my lists and make decisions about when to do what. It helps to decrease decision fatigue and shorten my lists.

After my theatre ticket mishap, you can bet I did a massive brain dump, (gotta find a new term for that) then categorized, sorted and scheduled my to-dos. My mental load is lighter and my stress has lessened significantly. Even though I know this fall is going to feel more busy than I prefer, I at least have a strategy that helps me manage the chaos with some clarity!

If you want to give my 3-part brain dump a whirl, I highly recommend doing this before the start of each week, prior to planning a trip, leading up to the holiday season, or (my favourite) upon takeoff when flying. I love kicking off a vacation with everything in my brain offloaded so I can enjoy my time away with as much of my mental space cleared for connection, creativity, and rest.

And if you have another better term for brain dump, please, I beg you to share!

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3 Ways to Develop Your Intuition

September 2, 2024

When it comes to integrating slow living strategies into our lives, I believe that tapping into our intuition is one of the most important processes we can adopt. Becoming attuned to our intuition can enable us to course-correct, gain clarity, make better decisions, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future. Sometimes we intuit for our own benefit, but at times we are also required to intuit on behalf of, or in cooperation with, family members, staff, ministry partners, a business or program, students, clients etc.

Tapping into my intuition has helped me discern my body’s needs and my brain’s logic, differentiate between desires that are selfish or selfless, and recall the wisdom of God’s Word or those who have spoken into my life from a place of wisdom and experience.

Becoming attuned to my intuition has required the following: stillness, silence, and solitude. I cannot intuit well amidst the clamour and chaos of busyness, noise, and the needs and expectations of others. So how do I find stillness, silence, and solitude when the days are full and the nights feel short? Below are 3 methods that have helped me to tap into my intuition amidst the roller coaster of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business.

Time in nature, specifically a walk or wild swim, allows me to breathe deeply, reset my nervous system, observe lessons from nature, escape the noise, get off my device, and hear from God through his creation. This is one of my favourite ways to gain clarity and tap into my intuition.

Early mornings before my family needs me or the rest of the world has a chance to fill my brain via emails, texts, and social media are essential. Spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditation on Scripture as a way of both communing with God and hearing His voice provides me with peace and the opportunity to intuit my next steps or a greater vision.

The pursuit of a creative outlet no matter how insignificant it might feel or how poorly it is attempted, increases my ability to hone my intuition. Whether it’s painting or photography, piano or cooking, setting a beautiful table or pruning a rose bush, any opportunity I have to do something creative helps me become more acquainted with sensing nuance. It’s a training ground for developing my intuitive sense. The more I engage with a creative outlet, the more I become attuned to my intuition, which I can then utilize throughout all aspects of life.

As I become more intuitive, I become better able to understand my purpose, use the gifts God has given me, and endure difficult seasons. Tapping into my intuition has also helped me decide on and hone a number of slow living strategies that have made my life feel less chaotic, more in sync with natural rhythms, and more aligned with my desire to lead a peace-filled life.

For the story on how I lost my connection to my intuition during the pandemic and gained it back during an unexpected season, click HERE.

If you’d like to follow along on my exploration of slow living strategies, you can subscribe to my newsletter for weekly inspiration, travel tips, offers, and opportunities to increase your rest, creativity, and natural rhythms. Join me on the journey HERE.

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