Author: Jaime Fenwick

Cotswolds Journal Series: Quest for a Countryside Vending Machine

September 16, 2025

“How do you know each other?” was the question both Greta and I received quite a bit prior to embarking on this fall’s Women’s Walking Retreat through the Cotswolds. “We don’t!” was our common reply.

And yet, God saw fit to bring us together to lead a group of women from all over the United States through the heart of the English countryside on daily walks and village explorations, across farmer’s fields and ancient churchyards, amidst dappled woodland and alongside tranquil rivers. Even through a sodden, recently harvested field in a torrential thunderstorm! This series will explore my 5th Women’s Walking Retreat in the Cotswolds co-hosted by Greta Eskridge and me, and will feature photos and anecdotes from our adventures.

You can find travel tips and all of my Cotswolds favourites in my upcoming Cotswolds Guide being released later this fall. Read on to discover just how Greta & I came to find ourselves striking out one morning in late August from the ancient market town of Stow-on-the-Wold on a quest to find a vending machine set in the middle of the Gloucestershire countryside.

Jaime Fenwick and Greta Eskridge setting out from the hilltop Cotswolds town of Stow-on-the-Wold.

Before I dive into our adventure, I should provide a bit of background for how this particular retreat came to be…

Several years ago, I jotted down a list of authors and speakers I wanted to meet while attending the Wild + Free homeschool conference in San Luis Obispo, California. Greta Eskridge, an avid proponent of adventuring with your kids, building meaningful connection as a family, and protecting children from the dangers of pornography, was one of the women I was eager to meet. I’d been following Greta via Instagram for years and appreciated the warm, authentic presence she was able to convey through her content. After waiting in a book-signing line up, I had the pleasure of a quick meet-and-greet with Greta, who also graciously agreed to having our photo taken together. Years went by and I continued to follow Greta’s delightful adventures, meaningful posts, and helpful insights all online.

Then last fall, I noticed that Greta had tagged someone in one of my Instagram reels featuring the Cotswolds. As I’d recently had the pleasure of having author and homeschool podcaster Leah Boden share at one of my Cotswolds retreats, and had been doing some writing for Wild + Free, I wondered if Greta had somehow come across my content via one of these connections. In fact, it was her own interest in the Cotswolds that lead Greta down the rabbit hole to my retreat reel. I decided to reach out and drop into Greta’s DMs with an invite to collaborate on a future retreat. We exchanged a series of emails, both spent time praying about the possibilities, and met up on Zoom. It quickly became clear to us both that God was opening up a door to plan an adventure together and we excitedly moved forward with designs for a Women’s Walking Retreat in early fall 2025. I love how God brings people together for His glory and purpose!

Berries, snail, and photographer in the Cotswolds — As the sun rose, Greta and I stopped countless times to photograph the most minute but beautiful details.

Fast forward to late August 2025 on the morning after Greta and I met up in the ancient market town of Stow-on-the-Wold, and the two of us found ourselves in search of a vending machine purportedly set in the middle of the Cotswold countryside. One of our guests had shared their interest in finding the Fir Farm vending machine, and so I reached out to the walking outfitter I work with (Cotswold Walks) for the route. They shared the route to the app I use on my retreats, and so Greta and I ventured out of town and into the dewy fields and footpaths that would lead us to the Fir Farm vending machines.

Woman with horses and Cotswolds scenery — Morning scenes in the Cotswolds, including a converted mill, Greta delighted by the horses, and a faint path across a field at sunrise.

At first, the route lead us along paths I’ve previously walked from Stow-on-the-Wold to the villages of Lower Slaughter and Bourton-on-the-Water. The our maps had us veer off onto another track, which was territory that was new to me. I love exploring the footpath system that grants adventurers access to public rights of way that have been used for centuries. England and Wales alone contain over 140,000 miles of public rights of way, a network unlike any other throughout the world.

I hadn’t been to the Cotswolds in autumn since 2017, (my past retreats have been held between May and June) when I explored the Cotswolds on foot for the first time. The recently harvested fields, blackberries ripe for picking, and crisp morning air were a delight for the senses that I had missed. I am fascinated by nature’s cyclical rhythms and how different a setting can feel just months apart. I also found it surreal to be experiencing this fresh fall walk with someone I’d followed online for years and only met briefly in a book signing line-up! Getting the chance to finally walk and talk after all of our planning confirmed what a beautiful partnership God had ordained.

Cotswolds nature in fall. — More early morning beauty captured amidst the quiet of a countryside sunrise in the Cotswolds.

When we finally found the Fir Farm vending machine set smack in the middle of nowhere, I was disappointed to discover the vending machine that contained ice cream (along with brisket and pork roast) was out of order. After all, the thought of hiking to ice cream first thing in the morning was a novel idea I found quite appealing. However, Greta’s palpable delight at retrieving the glass bottle she purchased and then witnessing the dispensing of organic, farm fresh milk into the vessel was contagious, and I was happy to document the proceedings and enjoy a sip of milk. It was delicious and very much worth the walk.

Greta and Jaime arrive at Fir Farm Vending Machine set amidst Cotswolds farmland.

Our hike back to Stow-on-the-Wold took much less time as we knew a hearty breakfast (courtesy of our hotel, Old Stocks Inn) would be waiting for us, along with our newly arrived and jet-lagged guests, all looking forward to officially kicking off the retreat later that evening.

For the full inside scoop on this fall’s Women’s Walking Retreat, featuring more photos and stories, subscribe to my weekly newsletter HERE. This is also where future retreat offerings are posted first, so if you’d like first dibs on limited spaces available, make sure you’re in the know!

For more blog posts on the Cotswolds and past retreats, click HERE.

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The Year I Decided to Go Grey

August 11, 2025

“Our society has perpetuated the belief that if a woman ages naturally, she’ll look old, and that old is the opposite of beautiful.”

Last spring I accidentally started going grey.

I kept meaning to dye my roots, but for the first time since I was 25, (when my first grey hairs appeared) I put off the chore longer than usual. I told myself that it was summer and my hair was usually in some version of a messy bun anyway. That I’d refresh my roots at the end of summer. Eventually enough of my roots were showing (a stark contrast to my dark brown hair) that my hair looked a bit ridiculous. My kids even noticed and were aghast at the amount of visible grey. They had never commented on it before, but were now grimacing at the sight, and sharing, with stark frankness, how they felt about having a mom in their early forties going grey.

I explained to them that I’d been going grey for years, but had just been dyeing my roots to match my hair. Ever since I was a child, I’d been a brunette with shoulder length, curly, brown hair. As a child, I remember the aesthetic contrast between my grandmother and her sisters, primarily because she coloured her hair and they didn’t. I thought she looked young and fashionable and vowed then that one day I too would keep the grey at bay. Besides, I loved being a brunette and intended to maintain that aspect of my identity through old age.

But then last summer, I realized that my daughters had virtually no examples of what going grey in your forties could look like. I considered the fact that 100 years ago they would have been surrounded by plenty of women my age whose hair was transitioning to shades of grey or white, but that our modern society does not celebrate the process of natural aging for women. Instead it promotes a mentality of anti-aging and equates beauty with youth.

Unwilling to let my children go without an example of what it looks like for a woman in her 40’s to age naturally, I decided to give greying a whirl. I could always go back to my brunette beginnings, but I committed to seeing what would happen if I officially stopped covering my silver strands for just one year. Besides, I told myself, I had eliminated virtually every other toxic chemical from my beauty routine, it was probably time to let go of this last one.

I was not prepared for the first round of results.

The beginning was rough. The grey roots spread quickly, leaving a massive swath of silver down the middle of my head for so long that I had to wear my hair up for months, lest I look like a skunk! This was truly the most difficult part of going grey. I hated how my hair looked and missed wearing my hair down whenever I wanted. It also seemed like for the first time ever, my kids were embarrassed by my appearance. The whole exercise felt downright miserable for the first six months.

And then something shifted.

I started losing less hair when brushing through my tangles in the shower. My curls became less frizzy and more defined. My roots were becoming thicker and my hair fuller. Even the greys were softer and less coarse than before. The absence of harsh chemicals was leaving my hair in a healthier state than it had been in years, and I felt optimistic about these distinct changes. Even my hair dresser noticed the difference in my hair health.

One change that still remains a mystery to me is that, while I’d been dyeing only my roots for years, the rest of my hair seemed to fade to a lighter shade of brown. I now possess a mix of grey and light brown locks. Never having had natural highlights before, this blend offers depth and interest to my hair I’m beginning to enjoy.

At about 9 months into the experiment, another new aspect of going grey came on the scene. People began complimenting my grey hair, some women even divulging their own tentative urge to stop colouring their hair just to see what might happen if they gave their brains, bodies, and bank accounts a break from the high maintenance that constant colouring requires. I’ve been told on multiple occasions, that their hesitancy lies in the fear of looking old.

Our society has perpetuated the belief that if a woman ages naturally, she’ll look old, and that old is the opposite of beautiful. If anything has inspired me to dig my heels in and not give up on this experiment, it’s been my desire to see a shift in this mentality. If not for my generation, then perhaps for my kids’. The only way it’s going to become just as acceptable for women to go grey as it is for men is if more women begin challenging the status quo.

I will admit that I’ve had to adjust my own way of thinking whenever I look in the mirror. First of all, I’m just not used to NOT being a dark brown brunette. It’s going to feel foreign to have to write ‘grey’ in forms that require me to provide my hair colour. There is a sense of loss that I’ve experienced in going grey, a recognition that I am no longer ‘young’ and that middle age is fast approaching. And yet the visual I see in the mirror is actually helping me accept this fact, rather than fight against it. I’m spending more time on my gut health and physical strength that my outward appearance these days. These efforts will eventually impact how I look on the outside, but more importantly, give me a better shot at longevity and quality of life.

Now that I’ve arrived at the one year anniversary of my deciding to intentionally go grey, I’m feeling more confident in my own skin (and hair) than I have in years. My husband loves my new look and my kids have all come to me individually over the past little while to tell me they actually like my hair and think it looks pretty. One of my friends has been inspired to take the plunge and try the experiment herself. That’s the great thing about deciding to go grey: if you don’t like it, you can always change it. There’s no permanence in the decision if you don’t want there to be. But you just might experience some freedom in the process of letting yourself go grey.

If you’re considering the idea or are in the process, I’d love to hear from you! Natural aging doesn’t have to equate to looking old, ugly, or like we’ve let ourselves go. Instead we can celebrate the blessing it is to age and the natural beauty that accompanies each year we have been gifted.

“I realized that my daughters had virtually no examples of what going grey in your forties could look like. I considered the fact that 100 years ago they would have been surrounded by plenty of women my age whose hair was transitioning to shades of grey or white, but that our modern society does not celebrate the process of natural aging for women.“

If you’d like to read some of my more recent reflections on rest, here are some of my most recent newsletters:

To read more from past issues, click HERE to subscribe to my weekly newsletter and I’ll make sure you have access to more of my recent editions!

Photographer with Nikon in the Cotswolds.

Photo of Smiling Woman on Sofa

Woman in pink blazer in front of Cotswolds Door

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Slowing Down for the Season Ahead

August 1, 2025

Earlier this summer I had grand plans to launch a Creation Before Consumption challenge for the month of July. Instead I wound up facing some real life challenges, which resulted in a lack of bandwidth for a challenge of my own devising! I also took an unannounced hiatus from posting on social media and from my weekly newsletters.

There are times in life when large amounts of our creative energy needs to be diverted to daily problem solving and decision making, and this is what was required of my creative capacity throughout the month of July. My creative outlets became quieter and more intimate: gratitude journaling, hymns on my late Grandma’s piano, gifts procured and gifted, a simple watercolour sketch. These small creative offerings kept me grounded – breathing deeply, observing the world around me, moving slowly, listening to God’s whispered voice in my heart. They helped me to find moments of deep joy even on the days when I felt I overwhelmed with anxiety.

Thankfully, amidst our summer plans taking some unexpected twists and turns, there were also threads of great delight woven through never-ending challenges. Leisurely visits with dear friends, glorious time in and on my favourite lakes, breathtaking views, fantastic food, and sweet memories made with my family speckled the July landscape and I made sure to list them and recall them so that we could treasure the good times and ensure they would surface repeatedly over time.

At one point I sat with our kids and discussed the merits of difficult seasons and unexpected challenges: that the good times are rarely what shape our character, that struggles provide us with opportunities to empathize with others, that trials can draw us closer to God as we rely on Him, that perseverance prepares us to face future obstacles with the tools we need. Of course this discussion came during a moment of peace and clarity, not when I felt like I was drowning in my fears. July was an exercise in recalling Scripture that supported me in order for me to support others. It was difficult and divine all at once.

Now that July is over and August has arrived, I feel like I’m still craving a slow summer experience. And yet around me families are preparing for school, extra-curricular activities are starting, and the calendar is filling up. I’m also getting ready for my next Women’s Walking Retreat through the Cotswolds at the end of the month. But my body, mind, and soul are in need of deep rest. So what to do?

Here’s what I’m aiming for daily during the month of August:

Movement every day. A walk, an at-home workout, a hike, or laps at the pool.
Keeping up with my vitamins & minerals.
Bible reading with the kids every week day at lunch (we’ve been doing this for years, but got out of habit in July).
Not checking email, texts, or social media until I am actually prepared to sit down and reply or engage.
Sitting down to rest or laying down when my body is begging for a break. I don’t need to push myself this month. My best work and most productive efforts always come from a place of rest.

Does the month or season ahead feel overwhelming to you? What can you do to prepare yourself for the upcoming season and give yourself the opportunity to slow down and integrate sustaining practices into your daily rhythms that will help sustain you in the days and weeks to come?

Here are 5 ways you can slow down that require you to add NOTHING to your calendar:

Don’t sleep with your phone in your bedroom. Avoid the habit of picking it up first thing every morning.
Next time you get in the car, don’t turn on music, a book, the radio, or a podcast. Observe how your body is feeling, let your thoughts meander, and contemplate the world around you.
When you lay down at night and wake up each morning, engage in some deep breathing.
Eat sitting down rather than on the go, and eat more slowly, savouring your bites. When nearing the end of a meal, ask yourself if you’re still hungry rather than whether you are full? The western mindset of eating until we are full means we tend to overeat, compared to the more ancient philosophy of eating until we are no longer hungry, which aids in optimal digestion.
Sing, hum, or breathe deeply in order to activate the vagus nerve. This lowers stress, reduces inflammation, and brings the body out of ‘flight or fight’ mode.

These photos were taken from the Point Arenas Lighthouse on the Mendocino Coast in May of this year. The beauty and the ferocity of the water crashing against the rocks reminds me of how the destructive and the divine can co-exist both in nature and in our own lives.

If you are longing for an opportunity to slow down and explore life at a slower pace, both at home and abroad, subscribe to my regular newsletter for slow living strategies and travel opportunities. Click HERE for details.

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Exploring English Settlements: Hamlets, Villages, Towns & Cities in the Cotswolds

June 24, 2025

A view of the Cotswolds village of Naunton.

Here in California where I live—and also back in Western Canada where I grew up—the terms village and hamlet aren’t part of everyday vocabulary when it comes to describing different settlement sizes. But in England, these terms—along with town and city—carry very specific distinctions. I didn’t fully appreciate these differences myself until I began exploring, and eventually guiding others through, the Cotswolds—an officially recognized Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty just two hours northwest of London.

Curious what each of these designations means? Let’s dive in…

A thatched cottage on the edge of Broadway in the Cotswolds.

Hamlet

A hamlet is typically a very small cluster of houses or farms, usually without community services such as a church, school, or shop. These tiny settlements are often just a scattering of homes nestled into the landscape. Some of the hamlets we pass through on my Women’s Walking Retreats include Stanway, Hailes, and Widford—peaceful, quiet corners of the English countryside that I absolutely love.

Village

A village is larger than a hamlet and traditionally includes a church. You’ll often also find a pub, a school, a shop, and perhaps a village green. Populations usually number under 10,000, and villages often have a parish council. Some of my favorite Cotswolds villages include Lower and Upper Slaughter, Stanton, Naunton, Snowshill, and Winchcombe.

Then there are the iconic, postcard-worthy villages like Bourton-on-the-Water, Bibury, and Castle Combe, which tend to attract busloads of tourists. While they’re undeniably beautiful, I generally avoid them on my retreats to preserve the tranquility of the experience. If you do want to visit these gems, I recommend going in the evening—once the crowds have dispersed and the day has quieted down.

The River Eye meandering through the Cotswolds village of Lower Slaughter.

Town

A town is a larger settlement that, historically, would have included a market and often features a range of shops, services, and churches, as well as a local council or governing body. In the Cotswolds, classic market towns like Cirencester, Tetbury, Stow-on-the-Wold, Chipping Campden, Broadway, Moreton-in-Marsh, Burford, and Chipping Norton are rich in character and history.

I particularly enjoy beginning my Cotswolds adventures in Stow-on-the-Wold—the highest market town in the region—and wrapping them up in Broadway, affectionately known as the “Jewel of the Cotswolds.”

City

A city in England was traditionally defined by the presence of a cathedral, though today, city status is granted by royal charter from the monarch. The only city officially within the Cotswolds boundary is Bath (a UNESCO World Heritage Site), though even its historic center lies just outside the region’s formal borders.

Gloucester—with its stunning cathedral that’s long been on my personal bucket list—is culturally connected to the Cotswolds, but like Bath, it sits beyond the area’s official boundaries. Interestingly, Cirencester—often called the “Capital of the Cotswolds” and once the second-most important Roman settlement after London—is still considered a town, not a city, despite its historical significance and size.

A quiet morning on the square in the Cotswolds market town of Stow-on-the-Wold.

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Why I Keep Coming Back to the Cotswolds

June 7, 2025

“Why do you keep coming back to the Cotswolds?”

This is a question I frequently receive when asked about the Women’s Walking Retreats I host deep in the heart of the English countryside.

It’s a question I love to answer, as I am truly passionate about what these retreats, and the Cotswolds, have to offer the women who join me as guests.

The short answer to this question, is that I’m a big fan of tweaking something until it’s refined, learning more about an area I love, and providing a quality experience for the retreat attendees.

However, if you wanted the longer answer, the one that draws on the deeper reasons for why I gravitate to the Cotswolds when it comes to creating a time of restoration and inspiration, well then you’ve come to right place.

The Cotswolds are comprised of gentle hills and lush valleys, unfurling across 6 counties and their sheep-speckled farms, and honey-hued villages, just 2 hours (yet a world away) from the the intensity of London. This designated Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty (AONB) features countless miles of public footpaths, providing walkers with the opportunity to criss-cross the tranquil landscape in an intimate style and at a leisurely pace.

Along these ancient paths, I have sat amidst a flock of curious sheep at sunset, enjoyed a break from the sun’s rays while exploring stone churches with medieval origins, and stood ankle-deep in the cool waters of the quietly meandering River Windrush. Every corner turned and each hill crested offers a feast for the senses without over-stimulating the body and the brain.

As one veers off of a country lane and onto a well-marked footpath, the sounds of modern traffic evaporates and are replaced by birdsong and babbling brooks, wind in the literal willows, and church bells tolling in tiny villages. Pubs lack the city sounds of stereo speakers and sports commentary. Instead the murmur of camaraderie and friendship provides a soundtrack for the cozy setting. As the noise of modern life recedes into the distance, it becomes easier to hear the voice of God speak through Creation or the intuitive nudges whisper to our souls.

Every walker tracing the Cotswolds on foot is bound to enjoy views of undulating hills dotted with sleek thoroughbreds and shaggy sheep, minding their business under skies of ever-evolving cloud shapes and all manner of meteorology. These painterly landscapes invite the viewer to gaze up and out at nature’s artistry instead of downwards at a device, to gain clarity and perspective beyond everyday routines and ruts. The Cotswolds feature a distinctive harmony between nature and architecture, offering inspiration for those who appreciate the seamless blend between natural beauty and handcrafted design. The visual feast is endless without overwhelming the senses.

As one navigates gravel footpaths and clambers over stone stiles, swings open wooden gates and shuts tight heavy timber church doors, texture and touch become integral to the Cotswolds walking experience. The feel of lush green grass underfoot, the coarse sensation of brushing up against a dry-limestone wall, the silky smoothness of a rose petal between the fingers, all ignite the walker’s connection to the natural world and a sense of wholeness at being immersed in a tranquil setting quite unlike anywhere else.

While walking in the Cotswolds, aromas waft through valleys and villages that trigger past memories and inspire new ones. The scent of woodsmoke curling out from a chimney or a hayfield freshly cut combines with the perfume of lilacs and lavender in bloom. The scent of dewy fields, wet fleece, and dry cow pies mingle to create an earthy cologne. Nature’s perfumery is layered, complex, and intoxicating.

To explore the Cotswolds is to whet the appetite for fresh and local cuisine. The cows one passes in verdant fields offer up the most sumptuous butters, cheeses, creams, and yogurts. Seasonal vegetables, fruits, and herbs infuse dishes with sweet and savoury flavours. Locally-raised beef, lamb, pork and chicken are roasted, minced, and stewed, then turned into classic pot pies, traditional roast dinners, and hearty breakfasts. Eggs are farm fresh and fabulous. Desserts like fruit crumbles, Eton mess, and sticky toffee pudding, along with drinks like ciders and ales punctuate the meals with indulgent and celebratory notes. To walk the Cotswolds is to taste nature’s provision and appreciate the seasons for their specific offerings.

Why do I return to the Cotswolds again and again? Because whenever I do, the cacophony and pace of the modern world are replaced with the peacefulness of a pastoral landscape and timeless setting. Because my guests are able to enter into a space where they can process the past, dream for the future, and be exquisitely present, all without distraction and interruption. Because the combination of luxurious accommodations, fantastic cuisine, and serene settings invite guests to slow down and experience deep, restorative rest. Whenever I spend time in the Cotswolds, I am able to linger in the sublime, and when I return home, the Cotswolds linger within me.

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Valentine’s Day Reflections

February 15, 2025

I have recently been reflecting on how I’m not the easiest to be in relationship with. I have extremely high expectations, am easily hurt, and struggle with anxiety on a daily basis. It’s no wonder I never dated (prior to my husband), didn’t go through life with that one best friend, and have never been on the inner circle of my friend groups. That being said, I’m extremely loyal, highly intentional, and remember details that matter. Dramatic but devoted…it’s who I’ve always been, but also who I wished I wasn’t…at least, until I met my husband Will.

I knew I’d hit the jackpot when, after just a few days of dating, I told Will that I believed God had called me to a life of travel and building relationships around the world with photography as my means of making that happen. I knew I couldn’t compromise that calling and didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with someone who didn’t value the path I was on. Will, wise from the get-go, told me that while he didn’t know where our relationship would end up, he would never hinder God’s plan for my life. I was intrigued, besotted even. My ambition and direct approach didn’t phase him in the least. I think he felt the same a day or so later, when I gamely agreed to go squirrel hunting with his family and then discreetly picked shot out of my teeth when the aforementioned squirrel was served up at the dinner table. Apparently neither of us proved to be too much for the other. What a novel experience!

A few months into our dating relationship, I panicked. I was scared that because we were in a long distance relationship, Will was only seeing the best in me, and that as soon as he experienced the worst, he would bolt. I will NEVER forget his response, which he penned in an email: “I may not have seen the worst in you yet, but I have seen the best. And the best is worth fighting for.” I printed that email, folded it into a little square, and carried it with me for months. I knew then that I wasn’t just ‘in love’, but that I would choose to love Will for the rest of my life. For better, or for worse.

17 years in, I can confidently affirm that Will and I have both witnessed each other at our worst. Multiple times over. And to me, that is the best part of marriage. Even when one of us is at our worst, the other chooses not to abandon or write off the relationship. That commitment exists not because we are superhuman, but because we have the example of Christ’s unconditional love for us. If Jesus could sacrifice His life for us with a brutal death on the cross, in order that we might one day have eternal life and perfect unity with God, then we can (with His strength) endure life’s trials, including the trials of marriage.

I have learned so much about becoming a more tactful friend, less judgemental human, and gracious follower of Jesus because of the man who has never viewed me as ‘too much’, but instead has always found the best in me worth mucking through the worst for. I am still a work in progress, a bit barbed and defensive, easily wounded and riled up, but slowly, slowly, softening. Sometimes I still wish I were a bit less ‘me’, not so intense or sensitive, but if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t experience the beauty of grace (God’s, Will’s, and others’) on such a grand scale. What a gift to be so imperfect and yet loved so perfectly. The best Valentine’s gift today, and every day.

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February is the New January

January 1, 2025

I am one of those over-zealous planners who salivates at the thought of a new calendar and the possibility of planning out the new year. I purchase my trusty Moleskine calendar plus my wall calendars in September so that come the new year – scratch that, come the day after Christmas – I’m ready to begin planning for the year ahead. One of the first things I enter into my new Moleskine is for the 1st of September…when I remind myself to buy my new planner and calendars for the coming year. Obsessive much?

As someone with ideas galore and a surplus of dreams I’d like to pursue, not to mention being someone who relies on visual and aesthetic organization in order to function well, I become giddy about fresh blank spaces where the workings of my mind can take shape. I also need our family’s schedule written down somewhere in order to help me make decisions about what we can and cannot say ‘yes’ to throughout the year. With each passing year I find it more vital to carve out margin in my calendar and leave space for rest, the unknown, and the spontaneous.

That being said, normally the week between Christmas and New Year’s is one of my favourites. Full of rest and leftovers and planning. I usually use this week to plan out my year in advance, enter important dates into my calendars, and organize my creative vision for the year with regards to work, homeschool, and my own personal pursuits. This year, however, has been different.

This year I felt a distinct nudge to hold off on leaping into the new year with a burst of energy (often short-lived if I’m being honest). Instead, I leaned into the urge to take my cue from nature, wherein winter is a time of dormancy, stillness, and rest. Nature does not create year-round, it takes a break in order to produce its best work at a later date. And so I’ve lingered in the Christmas season longer than normal. It’s New Year’s Day and most of my Christmas decor is still up when normally I’m ready to clear it all away to make room for the fresh start I feel ready to pursue both mentally and physically. Instead, I’m lingering in the glow of the tree lights and Christmas village a little longer. The empty stockings and citrus garland still hanging on the mantle encourage me to reflect on the Christmas season that is coming to a close, rather than rush forth into a bright and shiny January. There are a few Christmas books I just picked up from the library that I’m still looking forward to reading. We are, after all, still within the 12 Days of Christmas, so why not!

While I did begin filling my planner in with important dates, I have held off on most of my planning and have decided to use the entire month of January to let my ideas marinate and to allow my brain and my body time to rest. I’m claiming February as the new January…for myself at least. Why not let my fresh start begin after I’ve had time to come down off of the Christmas high and have spent some time surrendering to the stillness of the season?

Of course real life still happens. I can’t just remain in that nebulous post-Christmas haze for another 4 weeks (although maybe next year I’ll give that a whirl!). So what will this season of surrender look like? Here’s what I’m prioritizing for the month of January:

Early bedtimes so my body can recharge and get more sleep.
Less sugar and more protein so I can fuel my body best.
More time outdoors in order to take advantage of the light, which helps produce more Vitamin D, and also resets my circadian rhythms.
Pared down social plans and ‘busy’ activities.
Less screen time in order to minimize distractions, unnatural stimulation, and mental overwhelm.

If you could pick just one of these, or another focus entirely, what would you pursue? I hope the beginning of your new year is off to a gentle start.

Jaime

PS // I’ll be back on the blog in February to report on how this new treatment of January panned out. For weekly updates and more slow living inspiration and solutions, you can partake of my more regular musings by subscribing to my newsletter.

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What to do with all that Halloween Candy?

October 30, 2024

So I have to ask: are there other parents out there as frustrated and bewildered as I am by the staggering amount of candy being foisted upon our kids these days? Candy and junk food offerings no longer seem relegated to holidays, birthday parties, and a visit to the doctor’s office that ends with a token lollipop. Instead, just about every single kid-related event or gathering we attend includes the opportunities to ingest sugars, dyes, and high-fructose corn syrup. WHY? While I can’t answer that question, I can make decisions that influence how my kids respond to the junk food buffet they’re repeatedly exposed to. And with Halloween fast approaching, I’m sharing this year’s plan for dealing with the Great Candy Onslaught of 2025.

But first, I want to address the question you might be asking. WHY? Why be so concerned with the simple, childlike pleasure of amassing a mountain of candy? My answer is this: how can we expect kids to intuit their natural rhythms and form a healthy relationship to food if we encourage them to fill up on some of the worst offenders: toxic dyes, artificial sweeteners, and every unpronounceable ingredient found on the back of a candy wrapper?

In our home we talk a lot about making better choices, moderation, and swapping low quality treats for more elevated options. I don’t want to ban sugar or treats, I want my kids to be able to tell the difference between junk and quality. I want them to sense what their bodies are telling them when they eat poor quality ‘food products’, and to seek alternatives. I long for them to enjoy high quality and/or homemade options so that they no longer desire junk. Actually, they already do this so much more than I did when I was young and I’m so impressed by their shifting preferences!

This past year I’ve given my kids the option of trading out treats they receive (Everywhere! All the time! What on earth!?) for good quality chocolate, home baked treats, pastries from a local bakery, etc. Almost every time they come home with junk, they ask to swap it out for something that doesn’t make them feel gross. When we are out, they mostly choose non-dye options when offered, and also choose homemade desserts over store-bought ones (my 11 and 9-year old girls are much more prone to this than my 6-year old boy, but that’s to be expected). On the odd occasion when they choose the less healthy option, I don’t criticize, and sometimes even join in.

This Halloween I came up with a new idea for how to handle the incoming candy: they’ll each keep a small bag of favourites and trade the rest in for an outing to the movies where they can enjoy their treats. When I proposed the option to the kids, they were fully on board. Not only will we have the fun of dressing up and trick-or-treating together, but we’ll also enjoy more time and create more memories together as a result of the trade. My girls also suggested we keep some candy to use for gingerbread constructions come Christmas. I love that they too, are looking for ways to enjoy the collecting of candy without ingesting it all!

Here are a few more ideas for what to do with all that leftover halloween candy:

Offer for your kids trade it in for a shopping trip (doesn’t have to be big or lavish!). Last year I told them that a specific amount of pieces of candy would earn them a specific cash value, so the more candy they gave me, the more they had to spend.
Swap out the candy in exchange for a trip to an old-fashioned candy store and purchase a small amount of better candy to enjoy and learn about.
Trade candy for baking a dessert of their choice together and enjoying it with a movie.
Set up a prize box where kids can barter/swap out their candy over time. This might help with kids who don’t want to immediately part with their loot all at once!
Find a dentist that has a buy-back program where they offer to purchase your leftover candy. Let the kids do some shopping, save it up, or even better, do something to serve someone in need.

How do you handle the candy collection and consumption during this season or throughout the year? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below.

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Reflections on our 8th Year of Homeschooling

October 15, 2024

This morning, as I sat next to my almost 6-year old while doing math together on the couch, I tousled his curls which were bathed with streaks of golden morning light, and thought, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

How wild that at one time I vowed I would never homeschool. Now, in our 8th year of home education, I know I’ll never look back and wish I had taken more time for and with our kids. The sweet, slow mornings when we are all at our most fresh and most ready to delve into the day’s endeavours are ours to savour, both now and for a lifetime, as we one day reflect on the years in which together we laid a foundation. A foundation for layered learning where subjects are interwoven and life lessons are uncovered. A foundation for life that revolves around the home and family, rather than home and family fitting into the the world’s expectations. A foundation for lifelong curiosity and growth that celebrates each of our unique gifts, strengths, and passions. I never thought this would be our path, and yet, it’s been a journey that has taught me so much and has given me more than I could ever have wished for as a parent in pursuit of all that is good, beautiful, and true.

Will and I both enjoyed our public school experiences and assumed we’d adopt the same route for our kids. Plus, I didn’t consider myself the patient, teacher type. I also knew I’d want my ‘me’ time back once the kids were school age. As an introvert, I coveted my alone time, and as a parent, it has been the most difficult thing for me relinquish. While kids were in school, I presumed that I would have the time to pursue a career, organize our home, and maintain optimal health and fitness. But those goals were superseded by something more important to me – time with loved ones.

At a certain point in our parenting journey, we realized that the school system here in California would limit time with our families who lived thousands of miles away. As it wasn’t as feasible to take our kids out of school for a couple weeks at a time like my parents did when I was growing up, we began to consider the option of homeschool. We didn’t want to be limited to travel during peak season and pay for flights during Christmas or have our parents miss out on visits while the kids were in school.

As we began to investigate the world of homeschooling, other ‘pros’ cropped up, like slow mornings, no pick-up and drop-off lines, learning opportunities that fit each child’s personal needs and styles, no homework, ample opportunities to explore and adventure, and homeschool communities that fostered rich learning environments.

Of course there are cons – well actually, the only one I can think of is that I don’t get as much time alone as I’d prefer. But one day the kids will all be gone, the house will be quiet, and I’m sure I’ll miss the noise, clutter, and beauty of their presence more than I can imagine.

The pros, however, continue to increase with each passing year. Here are just a few that I’ve experienced over the years:

Plenty of time with siblings. Of all the social interactions I care about, the relationships between my kids is the one I care about almost more than any other. The connections my kids are fostering with their siblings while young has been one of the best benefits to homeschooling. Had Lauren been in Kindergarten the year Travis was born, she would have missed out on much of his time as a baby and our bonding as a family. Instead, she was able to help nurture and care for him every day, right from the get-go. Natalie and Travis, who are incredibly similar in personality and therefore sometimes clash, have ample time to work on their conflict resolution. All of them experience endless opportunities to lean on and support one another as they grow – something I pray continues for the rest of their lives. That’s not to say they wouldn’t lean on each other while growing up or as adults if they went to school – my sister and I did and do, as do plenty of other siblings who have gone through traditional schooling. I’m just thankful that homeschooling allows me to cultivate more time together as a family unit and nurture their sibling relationships in a slow, intentional fashion.
I get to choose curriculum and topics that suit each of my kids and our family. Currently Travis is very into volcanoes, so that’s his focus in science at the moment. Natalie wants to be a farmer, so I’m always looking for content that nurtures this desire. Lauren is passionate about cooking, and gets to use her math, science, and creativity in the kitchen whenever she wants. I have found a math curriculum that is so beautiful and rich it makes ME excited about math! I’m able to weave art, history, and geography together. Blend science and latin in beautiful ways. Learn how to make English grammar feel more fun. Read literature and poetry that comes alive. Listen to and play music that fills our home with magic. The feast is endless, and I get to lead the way as Master of Ceremonies.
There is ample time for free play, socialization, and boredom. The kids get multiple hours every day to play, read, create, and do their own thing. During those hours, especially now that they’re older, I get to relax, work, tidy, work out, etc. I believe that plenty of unsupervised free play is a key component to helping kids form creative, confident decision-making skills, and that too much scheduled programming diminishes these opportunities. Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to go against the cultural norms and slow down and provide our kids with large swaths of time that aren’t structured or standardized.
Homeschooling has enriched our social circle greatly, and we could spend way more time socializing than we currently do – but we wouldn’t get our schoolwork done if we took up every opportunity to socialize! The field trips, day time play dates, homeschool community days, and visits with friends and family who come to stay have been a huge blessing to our family, and I’m so thankful that homeschooling enables us to prioritize relationships — I want my kids to learn that work will always be there, but people come first. Again, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in any other context, I’m just speaking from my personal experience, knowing that our schedules would be more jam-packed with with more relationships on the back burner than is my preference.
I get to protect my kids’ innocence and childhood. I’ll be honest, their schooled counterparts are much more conscious of the world’s cares and concerns than they are, and as elementary-aged kids, I’m totally fine with that. There is PLENTY of time for them to become more aware of complex and grown-up issues. They only get to be kids for so long, and I want to protect that precious time as best I can. In grade 6, Lauren is already exposed to the issues facing the girls in her youth group who attend school, such as self-harm, drugs, and alcohol. Homeschooling doesn’t mean my kids have to live in a bubble, in fact, I work hard to ensure they don’t, but it does offer them a shelter from the intensity of the world when they need it.
We experience the benefits of a one-room school, where older kids help younger ones, and younger students learn just by being present with older kids. This plays out in our homeschool community as well, with the older kids helping out parents by coming alongside the younger ones. Girls and boys of various ages intermingle much more easily than I experienced when I was growing up in school, and I take great delight in watching all of these dynamics play out.

And of course there is the time with family. Recently I gave the kids a week off from school so we could all be as present as possible when my Grandma, great uncle, and great aunt came to visit. They got to explore San Francisco and Carmel-by-the-Sea, spend time baking in the kitchen with my great aunt, and enjoyed hearing stories from the past. It was a much-needed pause in the middle of our fall and exactly what I hoped for when we embarked upon our homeschooling journey.

Because of the flexibility homeschooling affords, our kids have had the opportunity to spend extended time in Mississippi hunting, visiting historic monuments, and growing in their knowledge of family history. We’ve traveled to Manitoba in the fall and stayed in a friend’s rustic cabin on the river for 3 weeks, vacationed to Arizona in winter with cousins and grandparents, road-tripped around Vancouver Island in the spring, and enjoyed visits with friends and family whenever they’ve come our way, taking off a day here or a week there, whenever it suits us. Will doesn’t get that many days off per year, but as the kids have gotten older and easier to travel with, I’ve been able to take them to see family on my own, giving them opportunities they wouldn’t have had if they had been in school. The freedom to be with family is priceless, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do school from wherever we choose.

I realize that homeschooling is not for everyone, and that being able to stay home with the kids and homeschool is a privilege. I will also say that if homeschooling is something you long for, there are ways to make it happen. We decided that if it wasn’t feasible for me to stay at home with the kids here in California, we would move to wherever that would be possible. I know a single mom who is working (often outside of the home) and homeschooling! Her daughter is now spending one day a week with us doing her schoolwork and I love that we can support them in this endeavour. If you’re sensing that homeschool might be something you’d like to explore, I’d encourage you to seek out a homeschool community in your area and pay them a visit, find a Wild + Free conference to attend, check out a curriculum that could enrich your students’ educational experience and perhaps fill in some gaps (The Good and the Beautiful is one of my favourites), bring home rich read-alouds from the library (Sarah Mackenzie has the best booklists for all ages). You could even hire a coach to help you navigate the homeschool space – I’d recommend reaching out to Leah Boden. Also, her book Modern Miss Mason is a fabulous way to dip your toes into learning and exploring alongside your children, whether you homeschool or not.

There are a myriad of ways to educate and enrich your children’s lives through learning – homeschooling is just the one that has served us best thus far. And while we plan to continue on the homeschooling path, I’ve learned to never say never. So no guarantees about what the future will hold for our kids and their education, but I’m sure it will be an adventure no matter what! Here’s to another year of slow and steady learning ahead.

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Finding Margin on Mondays

October 1, 2024

Mondays might be my most favourite day of the week. We usually have no plans for Mondays other than to delve into a fresh week of school and begin making our way through weekly chores and projects. As an introvert, I’m typically relieved to have a social break after the weekend. I also find that my energy for getting things accomplished is at its zenith on Mondays, so I like to get meal prep and bigger chores done early in the week. I don’t know about any other moms out there, but I tend to feel pretty wiped out by Friday afternoon, and am rarely the finest version of myself at that point in the week!

On this bright, blue-sky Monday morning, I was rather pleased about the day’s progress as I turned on my gas stove’s third burner and began boiling water for that night’s dinner. Veggies for mine and Will’s lunches were sautéing in one pan while bone broth was simmering in the stock pot. Travis was playing outside, burning off some energy, before I sat down with him for his schoolwork. Lauren and Natalie were already making their way through math and piano practice. There was a hum to our hive that felt purposeful and positive.

As I basked in the glow of a morning going strong, about to lower almost five pounds of chopped Yukon gold potatoes into a pot of boiling water, a sharp CRACK jolted me out of my reverie, and a simultaneous spray of shattered glass from along the back of the stovetop was sent flying into the potato water, across the range, and onto the kitchen floor. My efficient morning had been eradicated in an instant.

I sighed deeply as I switched off all three burners on the now crystalline-covered stovetop, shooed curious kids away from the blast site, and began sweeping up the debris. In spite of feeling utterly deflated, I was grateful that no glass had found its way into my eyes or skin. My middle child assessed the situation with the pragmatic reminder that, “At least we don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Quite right,” I agreed. If today had been a busy day, I would have had far less capacity to handle the hiccup with grace. I might have let my irritation with this fiasco affect my interactions with the kids in a negative manner. Instead, as I slowly began to clean up, I realized that this interruption was essentially another reminder to slow down and plan for more days like this one: days with enough margin for plans to go awry, schedules to shift, and for me to pivot.

So, how do I go about scheduling my days with maximum margin? It comes down to a simple question I can ask myself as often as I need to:

“What ACTUALLY NEEDS to get done?”

While I’m becoming better at assessing how much I can realistically get done in a specific period of time, I still have to regularly reassess my list of to-dos and weed out the things that can truly just wait.

When I consider what needs to get done versus what I would like to accomplish, it’s much easier to give myself permission to slow down and carve out space for life to ebb and flow.

In the long run, my responses to how I handle the unexpected hiccups and hardships will matter far more than what I accomplished on a day-to-day basis. How I treat others (and that’s not to say I’ve always done that well – far from it!) is always going to outlast whatever I achieve. When I pare down all my reasons for wanting to slow down more, the ones that matter most are these: to love God and love others as best I can.

Looking for more slow living inspiration? Check out the blog posts below.