Over the years I have developed what I like to call slow living strategies that have helped me become more in sync with my natural rhythms, cope with the busy pace of life we experience living here in the San Francisco Bay area, and nurture the relationships that matter most. Of course there are seasons when I struggle to maintain the habits I’ve honed, and I have to admit that the start to this school year has been one of them.
While I’m becoming more consistent with working out and taking care of my health, my administrative rhythms have slipped recently, and I’m still in catch-up mode. I’m convinced that trying to maintain the perfect balance is not unlike chasing a unicorn – a mythical quest at best. That being said, having strategies that help me quickly recover when I am struggling in a specific area, are key to moving forward during a busy season. Last week I was especially grateful for one of my favourite strategies that I was able to implement following a pretty sizeable slip-up!
I began my descent into mistake-territory first thing on a Friday morning. While I’d held off on checking my email during the initial hour or so after waking, I happened to pop into my inbox just before breakfast and noticed that tickets for my girls’ upcoming theatre production had just gone on sale.
Last winter I wasn’t super quick on the draw with my wallet and as a result, missed out on optimal seats for my eldest daughter’s first show. Determined not to let that happen again, I sat down at the breakfast table, and in an attempt to ignore the morning hubub whirling around me, worked on booking tickets for multiple shows and the multiple family members and friends flying in for the occasion.
Within about 10 minutes the tickets were booked and I was more than a little self-satisfied that I’d accomplished this big ‘to-do’ item before breakfast. Later that morning while texting with a friend who knew the specific theatre well, I asked about the front-row seats I had purchased. While she confirmed that they were indeed eye-level with the stage, she also informed me that our seats wouldn’t allow my 5-year old to see the back of the stage. Well, shoot. So much for early-morning efficiency I thought.
Even though I was pretty sure the theatre wouldn’t let me change my seats, I decided to give the box office a call and ask. A pleasant voice answered and Carla (Karla?) searched for my order. Confused by my confident assertion that I’d purchased front-row seats for 4 shows, she double-checked the tickets and then explained that I’d made a not uncommon (but incredibly cringe-worthy) mistake. “You’ve flipped the seating chart around and booked the back row,” Carla/Karla explained. In an instant I went from hopeful I could shift our seats to a few rows back to horrified that my entire family would be seated in the nosebleed section. I began praying to God and begging to Carla/Karla simultaneously. Hearing the panic in my voice, Carla/Karla put me on hold in order to speak with her supervisor. Several nerve-wracking minutes of pacing and more prayer passed until I heard Carla/Karla exclaim, “Good news! We can make an exception and exchange your tickets over the phone right now. There will be a $10 change fee if that’s okay?” Okay? OKAY?! Never have I been so deliriously happy to pay a change fee. TAKE MY MONEY LADY!
After I had confirmed the new (and improved, not front row) tickets had been delivered safely to my inbox, I hung up the phone and just about cried with delight and overwhelm. In spite of my mistake, God and the people at our local theatre box office were gracious with me and saved me from handing out binoculars to our non-plussed parents so they would be able to actually see our girls on stage.
The next thing I needed to do was pull myself together on a deeper level, because clearly I was a hot mess. With so much home/family/extracurricular/school admin and messaging that comes with the beginning of the school year, I felt like I was drowning in to-dos. As a result, I was obviously not making decisions with clarity and forethought. I had also ignored my self-imposed rule that I don’t book tickets for anything with kids around. I had a major mixup with flight rebooking ten years ago that lead me to implement that rule, and I’ve stuck by it for a solid decade – until last week of course. My lapse in judgement that day reminded me to SLOW DOWN. For the rest of the day I held off on any other decisions or responses that could easily wait to be determined or sent until the next morning.
I also knew that I needed to utilize a strategy I’ve been relying on for YEARS when my brain feels like it’s overloaded and cannot contain additional information. I’d failed to take advantage of this strategy over the past couple weeks but knew it was time to revisit this favourite of mine. The strategy is known as a brain dump, and while I’ve hated the term for as long as I’ve used it, the poorly-named process is incredibly helpful.
Brain dumps are one of my all-time favourite tools to help me de-stress, reduce decision fatigue, prioritize what’s important, and slow down. Mine is a 3 part process that I’m going to share below.
- Pull out a notebook and jot down EVERY SINGLE THING that I need to do or consider that isn’t already scheduled. This list typically winds up being a massive download of everything from grocery items to purchase, errands to run, correspondence to catch up on, paperwork to do, appointments to schedule, gifts to pick out, special events to plan, work projects to tackle, stuff to remind Will about, you name it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the list, I just write until my brain feels relieved and there’s nothing left for me to remember. I usually have to scroll through texts, inboxes, and other platform messaging to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s best if I try to do this when I’m going to be interrupted as little as possible.
2. Immediately following, or at another time that day, I make categories in my notebook so everything on the initial list has a place to go. Then I sort the list and check off each one as I enter it under the appropriate category. Here are a list of my typical categories:
-
- Home (mostly menial tasks)
- Yard/Garden
- Errands
- To Purchase
- Groceries
- School
- Extracurriculars (sub-headings for piano, theatre, etc.)
- Work
- Correspondence
- Computer (projects or to-do’s that require me to sit down at the computer)
- Will (things I need for Will to do)
3. The next thing I do is plug as many items from these lists as possible into my calendar. I learned this strategy from my current business coach Heather Boersma, and it has really helped me to actually tackle the stuff on my lists. Not everything gets an assigned date, but a large portion of my lists do. This prevents me from having to stare at my lists and make decisions about when to do what. It helps to decrease decision fatigue and shorten my lists.
After my theatre ticket mishap, you can bet I did a massive brain dump, (gotta find a new term for that) then categorized, sorted and scheduled my to-dos. My mental load is lighter and my stress has lessened significantly. Even though I know this fall is going to feel more busy than I prefer, I at least have a strategy that helps me manage the chaos with some clarity!
If you want to give my 3-part brain dump a whirl, I highly recommend doing this before the start of each week, prior to planning a trip, leading up to the holiday season, or (my favourite) upon takeoff when flying. I love kicking off a vacation with everything in my brain offloaded so I can enjoy my time away with as much of my mental space cleared for connection, creativity, and rest.
And if you have another better term for brain dump, please, I beg you to share!
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