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Month: September 2024

The Ultimate ‘Slow Down’ Checklist

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After several jam-packed days this past week, I could tell my body wanted to revolt, and that if I didn’t listen, I would get sick and be far more useless than if I slowed down and took a day or two to truly rest my brain and body. I realize I talk about slowing down all the time, so much so you think I’d be just stellar at it, but the truth is that I’m naturally prone to overdoing it.

How do I know when my brain and my body are telling me to hit the brakes? My digestive system doesn’t work as well as it should, I wake up thinking about all the things I have to do, my body is sore from holding tension, I stumble over my words and struggle to make strong decisions, and I’m not near as gracious with my family as I should be. Even though I knew in advance that the last four days were going to be filled with good things – birthday celebrations, photo shoots, family visits and calls – I also knew that going that long without sufficient down time would take a toll.

I feel like in my 20’s I could survive crazy schedules on sheer energy. Then in my 30’s, a decade filled with child-bearing and raising littles, I was riding the highs and lows just trying to get by. I naively thought that when I arrived at my 40’s, I could hit the ground running and bounce back after my early-motherhood years. Wow, was I mistaken. Instead I can sense the need to be gentle with myself, to work smarter not harder, to slow down more than I thought would be necessary, and to give my body and brain ample time and space to be restored.

So here I am, sometimes learning the hard way, but relieved that instead of pushing myself into overdrive and paying for it later, I am willing to call a time out and give myself a pass to rest. I think it’s a good example to my kids as well, for them to see me either overtly declaring time for extra rest or subtly carving out rest throughout our week. I want them to listen to their intuition and their bodies and remember that often our best work comes from a place of rest. But they won’t have the chance to learn to intuit this for themselves if a) I don’t lead by example, and b) I pack their schedules so full they don’t have the margin they need to practice intuiting.

Here then is My Ultimate Slow Down Checklist that serves as a reminder to slow down and rest:

  • Am I getting 8 hours of sleep each night?
  • Do I have time to sit and read my Bible, journal, and just BE for a few minutes each morning?
  • Am I getting regular workouts & time outdoors in my schedule?
  • Is my digestive system revolting or is it working smoothly? Do I have stomach issues? This is usually the result of a combination of stress and not eating properly.
  • Do I sit down to eat 3 healthy meals per day? Am I sitting down to eat with my family or am I eating on the go?
  • Do I have time for spontaneous calls/visits from/with friends or family without needing to multitask?
  • Am I cranky with my family? Do I have time for them or am I/are we on the go from morning until night?
  • Is decision-making harder than normal/than it should be?
  • Do I have time/energy to plan out my next day the night before?
  • Am I creating anything for sheer pleasure during my days?

If my answer is ‘no’ to 3 or more of these things, I know that I’m not running optimally. If my answer is ‘no’ to 5 or more of these questions, I know I’m risking my physical and mental health. It’s no wonder that I struggled to stay healthy and balanced during the years with babies and littles when, to be honest, checking off 5 of these would be a stretch!

You might be scanning the above list and thinking there’s no way you could make 7/10 of these items a regular part of your days. That’s okay. That’s because the checks and balances you need might look different. Mine are what work for me, but you might want to adapt the above list to suit you and your lifestyle better. Or you might really resonate with the list above and want to reflect on it and decide if you need some time to slow down and recover. Either way, no matter who we are, we all need to develop our intuition and take care of ourselves as best we can. We can’t run at a breakneck pace forever. Our bodies will eventually revolt, our relationships will suffer, and we won’t be able to live to the fullest the abundant life we’ve been given.

And with that, I’m taking a day to rest and just BE present with God and my family. I plan to stay in my pjs for longer than normal, give my kids a free pass on their school, spend as much of the day outdoors as possible, get off-screen, and nourish myself in all the ways I can. I’m no use to anyone if I run myself into the ground and get sick, so while part of me protests while looking at my calendar/to-do lists, I know intuitively that I will sacrifice so much more later than if I slow down now. I hope you too can check in with yourself this week and intuit your needs with confidence and compassion.

Want to join me for the ultimate opportunity to slow down? Come with me on a weeklong walk through the Cotswolds, where you can be immersed in the beauty and tranquility of the English countryside and experience restoration and inspiration along the way. Click HERE for more details.

 

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Selling My Kids on Sustainable Shopping

When I was in high school and college I did a lot of my clothes shopping at thrift stores. I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, was never put off by the dinginess of a less than sparkling shopping ambience, and felt especially thankful for how shopping second-hand could stretch my funds. The concept of ‘more with less’ is a tightly woven theme threaded throughout my Mennonite heritage, and I’ve never felt a stitch of shame with regards to purchasing used goods. In fact, this is a value I want to pass on to my kids, especially as we integrate more slow living strategies into our lifestyle.

Recently my daughters (on the verge of 11 and 9) expressed an interest in going back-to-school shopping for some new clothes. This is actually never something we’ve done, as we’ve mostly just ‘shopped’ from our friends’ hand-me-downs. If you are looking to implement the slow living rhythm of sustainable shopping, trading products or services in exchange for quality hand-me-downs is a great place to start.

For almost a decade I’ve been trading family photo shoots in exchange for my friend’s daughter’s gently used clothing and it’s a swap I’ve been incredibly grateful for. Not only has it saved me money, but time as well, which I would have had to spend in order to shop. Seasonal apparel dropped off at my door in exchange for family portraits – yes please!

But I digress. My daughters had heard that some of their friends had gone back-to-school clothes shopping with their moms and asked if we could go too. As I have begun to purchasing my own clothing with more awareness and intention, I spent some time researching sustainable clothing brands and local shops that sold ethically-made apparel for kids/pre-teens. The results stressed me out. Most of the options were either online only, crazy expensive, or not as ethical as they claimed to be.

Since my journey to cleaner food and beauty products never started out with a full-on overhaul, I decided that we would start simply in the sustainable clothes shopping arena as well. I took each of them on separate shopping dates to a large, local thrift store and out for lunch after. While there were no change rooms, each quickly got over the awkwardness of trying clothes on over their own in the aisles! For the record my daughters both wore spaghetti strap sun dresses with bike shorts underneath in order to try on clothes. This combo  worked perfectly for trying everything on except jumpsuits!

During our shopping excursion, I not only had the opportunity to teach my girls how to pick out clothes that suited them, but look for clothes that would fit/work for the following season. I also took them through the women’s section and pointed out things I was looking for: natural fabrics like wool sweaters and jackets, linen blouses and dresses, tweed blazers etc. I explained that clothing made from natural fibres holds up better over time and is better for our health,  compared to apparel made from synthetic fabrics.

One of the biggest lessons the girls were able to learn, was how much bang for your buck you get with second-hand shopping. After getting into the car with my eldest daughter, I looked up the brand and style of jeggings she had found 3 pairs of. Brand new, they were approximately $40 each. We purchased hers for $7.50 a piece. Her eyes were as big as saucers as she did the mental math. The glee on her face as she delighted in the savings let me know she was hooked on second-hand!

Of course shopping second-hand is just one of the ways we can move towards a slower, more sustainable shopping process.  Both of my girls are interested in sewing, and while that is definitely not a skill of mine, it’s something I want to foster for them. They already enjoy taking apart damaged articles of clothing and stitching accessories for dolls. Heaven knows they’ll save me money if they can eventually sew some of their own wardrobe à la Ma Ingalls.

I also want to find a couple of ethical clothing brands that produce underwear, camisoles, and bras using more natural materials. And then there are our hand-me-down hauls which are honestly the best ever. We actually have a neighbour who supplies us with most of my son’s clothes as well. What a blessing! And yes, we will still continue to shop for the occasional pieces at Target, Old Navy, or on Amazon like we have over the past decade. The process towards a cleaner, less toxic, sustainable lifestyle is usually not an overnight overhaul but a slow and steady shift-for me at least. I’m more likely to maintain slower rhythms if I know that I can always make an exception for the easy option here and there.

One other thing to note. Over the years, I often used birthday/Christmas money to purchase the odd outfit from a Canadian maker called Nest & Nurture. Her work is stunning and sustainable and my kids wore their outfits for multiple seasons. I’ve now packed away these pieces that will pass down to their children beautifully because of the timeless styles and quality craftsmanship. I have LOVED the beauty and timelessness of these special items and would love to find something similar for these older girl/pre-teen years. If you have any recommendations, I’m all ears! I love supporting small, family-run businesses and want to encourage my kids to do the same. I’d much rather spend a little more and have less in terms of quantity, knowing I’m supporting a small business and family’s livelihood. Feel free to leave any suggestions for sustainable shopping in the comments below.

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3 Steps to a Less Stressful School Year

Over the years I have developed what I like to call slow living strategies that have helped me become more in sync with my natural rhythms, cope with the busy pace of life we experience living here in the San Francisco Bay area, and nurture the relationships that matter most. Of course there are seasons when I struggle to maintain the habits I’ve honed, and I have to admit that the start to this school year has been one of them.

While I’m becoming more consistent with working out and taking care of my health, my administrative rhythms have slipped recently, and I’m still in catch-up mode. I’m convinced that trying to maintain the perfect balance is not unlike chasing a unicorn – a mythical quest at best. That being said, having strategies that help me quickly recover when I am struggling in a specific area, are key to moving forward during a busy season. Last week I was especially grateful for one of my favourite strategies that I was able to implement following a pretty sizeable slip-up!

I began my descent into mistake-territory first thing on a Friday morning. While I’d held off on checking my email during the initial hour or so after waking, I happened to pop into my inbox just before breakfast and noticed that tickets for my girls’ upcoming theatre production had just gone on sale.

Last winter I wasn’t super quick on the draw with my wallet and as a result, missed out on optimal seats for my eldest daughter’s first show. Determined not to let that happen again, I sat down at the breakfast table, and in an attempt to ignore the morning hubub whirling around me, worked on booking tickets for multiple shows and the multiple family members and friends flying in for the occasion.

Within about 10 minutes the tickets were booked and I was more than a little self-satisfied that I’d accomplished this big ‘to-do’ item before breakfast. Later that morning while texting with a friend who knew the specific theatre well, I asked about the front-row seats I had purchased. While she confirmed that they were indeed eye-level with the stage, she also informed me that our seats wouldn’t allow my 5-year old to see the back of the stage. Well, shoot. So much for early-morning efficiency I thought.

Even though I was pretty sure the theatre wouldn’t let me change my seats, I decided to give the box office a call and ask. A pleasant voice answered and Carla (Karla?) searched for my order. Confused by my confident assertion that I’d purchased front-row seats for 4 shows, she double-checked the tickets and then explained that I’d made a not uncommon (but incredibly cringe-worthy) mistake. “You’ve flipped the seating chart around and booked the back row,” Carla/Karla explained. In an instant I went from hopeful I could shift our seats to a few rows back to horrified that my entire family would be seated in the nosebleed section. I began praying to God and begging to Carla/Karla simultaneously. Hearing the panic in my voice, Carla/Karla put me on hold in order to speak with her supervisor. Several nerve-wracking minutes of pacing and more prayer passed until I heard Carla/Karla exclaim, “Good news! We can make an exception and exchange your tickets over the phone right now. There will be a $10 change fee if that’s okay?” Okay? OKAY?! Never have I been so deliriously happy to pay a change fee. TAKE MY MONEY LADY!

After I had confirmed the new (and improved, not front row) tickets had been delivered safely to my inbox, I hung up the phone and just about cried with delight and overwhelm. In spite of my mistake, God and the people at our local theatre box office were gracious with me and saved me from handing out binoculars to our non-plussed parents so they would be able to actually see our girls on stage.

The next thing I needed to do was pull myself together on a deeper level, because clearly I was a hot mess.  With so much home/family/extracurricular/school admin and messaging that comes with the beginning of the school year, I felt like I was drowning in to-dos.  As a result, I was obviously not making decisions with clarity and forethought. I had also ignored my self-imposed rule that I don’t book tickets for anything with kids around. I had a major mixup with flight rebooking ten years ago that lead me to implement that rule, and I’ve stuck by it for a solid decade – until last week of course. My lapse in judgement that day reminded me to SLOW DOWN. For the rest of the day I held off on any other decisions or responses that could easily wait to be determined or sent until the next morning.

I also knew that I needed to utilize a strategy I’ve been relying on for YEARS when my brain feels like it’s overloaded and cannot contain additional information. I’d failed to take advantage of this strategy over the past couple weeks but knew it was time to revisit this favourite of mine.  The strategy is known as a brain dump, and while I’ve hated the term for as long as I’ve used it, the poorly-named process is incredibly helpful.

Brain dumps are one of my all-time favourite tools to help me de-stress, reduce decision fatigue, prioritize what’s important, and slow down. Mine is a 3 part process that I’m going to share below.

  1. Pull out a notebook and jot down EVERY SINGLE THING that I need to do or consider that isn’t already scheduled. This list typically winds up being a massive download of everything from grocery items to purchase, errands to run, correspondence to catch up on, paperwork to do, appointments to schedule, gifts to pick out, special events to plan, work projects to tackle, stuff to remind Will about, you name it. There’s no rhyme or reason to the list, I just write until my brain feels relieved and there’s nothing left for me to remember. I usually have to scroll through texts, inboxes, and other platform messaging to make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s best if I try to do this when I’m going to be interrupted as little as possible.

2. Immediately following, or at another time that day, I make categories in my notebook so everything on the initial list has a place to go. Then I sort the list and check off each one as I enter it under the appropriate category. Here are a list of my typical categories:

    • Home (mostly menial tasks)
    • Yard/Garden
    • Errands
    • To Purchase
    • Groceries
    • School
    • Extracurriculars (sub-headings for piano, theatre, etc.)
    • Work
    • Correspondence
    • Computer (projects or to-do’s that require me to sit down at the computer)
    • Will (things I need for Will to do)

3. The next thing I do is plug as many items from these lists as possible into my calendar. I learned this strategy from my current business coach Heather Boersma, and it has really helped me to actually tackle the stuff on my lists. Not everything gets an assigned date, but a large portion of my lists do. This prevents me from having to stare at my lists and make decisions about when to do what. It helps to decrease decision fatigue and shorten my lists.

After my theatre ticket mishap, you can bet I did a massive brain dump, (gotta find a new term for that) then categorized, sorted and scheduled my to-dos. My mental load is lighter and my stress has lessened significantly. Even though I know this fall is going to feel more busy than I prefer, I at least have a strategy that helps me manage the chaos with some clarity!

If you want to give my 3-part brain dump a whirl, I highly recommend doing this before the start of each week, prior to planning a trip, leading up to the holiday season, or (my favourite) upon takeoff when flying. I love kicking off a vacation with everything in my brain offloaded so I can enjoy my time away with as much of my mental space cleared for connection, creativity, and rest.

And if you have another better term for brain dump, please, I beg you to share!

For more slow living strategies, subscribe to my weekly newsletter HERE.

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3 Ways to Develop Your Intuition

When it comes to integrating slow living strategies into our lives, I believe that tapping into our intuition is one of the most important processes we can adopt. Becoming attuned to our intuition can enable us to course-correct, gain clarity, make better decisions, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future. Sometimes we intuit for our own benefit, but at times we are also required to intuit on behalf of, or in cooperation with, family members, staff, ministry partners, a business or program, students, clients etc.

Tapping into my intuition has helped me discern my body’s needs and my brain’s logic, differentiate between desires that are selfish or selfless, and recall the wisdom of God’s Word or those who have spoken into my life from a place of wisdom and experience.

Becoming attuned to my intuition has required the following: stillness, silence, and solitude. I cannot intuit well amidst the clamour and chaos of busyness, noise, and the needs and expectations of others. So how do I find stillness, silence, and solitude when the days are full and the nights feel short? Below are 3 methods that have helped me to tap into my intuition amidst the roller coaster of parenting, homeschooling, and running a business.

  • Time in nature, specifically a walk or wild swim, allows me to breathe deeply, reset my nervous system, observe lessons from nature, escape the noise, get off my device, and hear from God through his creation. This is one of my favourite ways to gain clarity and tap into my intuition.
  • Early mornings before my family needs me or the rest of the world has a chance to fill my brain via emails, texts, and social media are essential.  Spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditation on Scripture as a way of both communing with God and hearing His voice provides me with peace and the opportunity to intuit my next steps or a greater vision.
  • The pursuit of a creative outlet no matter how insignificant it might feel or how poorly it is attempted, increases my ability to hone my intuition. Whether it’s painting or photography, piano or cooking, setting a beautiful table or pruning a rose bush, any opportunity I have to do something creative helps me become more acquainted with sensing nuance. It’s a training ground for developing my intuitive sense. The more I engage with a creative outlet, the more I become attuned to my intuition, which I can then utilize throughout all aspects of life.

As I become more intuitive, I become better able to understand my purpose, use the gifts God has given me, and endure difficult seasons. Tapping into my intuition has also helped me decide on and hone a number of slow living strategies that have made my life feel less chaotic, more in sync with natural rhythms, and more aligned with my desire to lead a peace-filled life.

For the story on how I lost my connection to my intuition during the pandemic and gained it back during an unexpected season, click HERE.

If you’d like to follow along on my exploration of slow living strategies, you can subscribe to my newsletter for weekly inspiration, travel tips, offers, and opportunities to increase your rest, creativity, and natural rhythms. Join me on the journey HERE.

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